Show notes –
Join Shannon & Christine as they chat about Social Wellness with the speakers from the WCW Conference.
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The Laziness Myth: Narratives of Work and the Good Life in South Africa
Shannon M. 0:08
Hi ladies, I am Shannon Mitchell, a black millennial business owner, the founder of shallow glow LLC, an all natural skincare company that helps you glow from head to toe. I am a champion for your daily self care, business care and intentional wellness.
Christine Gautreaux 0:21
Hey, y’all. I’m Christine Gautreaux, a white social justice advocate, and international speaker, coach, published author and dancing social worker who helps you upgrade yourself and community care.
Shannon M. 0:35
Together, we are women connected in wisdom, a podcast grounded in the eight dimensions of wellness.
Christine Gautreaux 0:39
And we like to get together every week for intentional conversations between us and special guests about how to be wise in business relationships and wellness. Right? How do we do this thing? You know, one of the ways we do it
Shannon M. 0:54
by being connected
Christine Gautreaux 0:57
and connected. So what is the dimension that we’re talking about today?
Shannon M. 1:01
Yes, yes. So I’m going to give you the dimension and then we’ll go to the definition so we can bring our ladies to the party. Okay, so today we’re talking about social wellness. And social wellness is about the ability to nurture ourselves, others and our relationships with healthy boundaries, and includes balancing the other seven dimensions of wellness, and actively participating as an interdependent being in the web of life.
Christine Gautreaux 1:27
Well, I think we’re definitely actively participating right now.
Shannon M. 1:30
Definitely. Yes. I was thinking about what, um, who was it earlier? Was it Shannon IV, and she said, I wasn’t taking care of the introvert side of myself. That’s a good way of thinking about it.
Christine Gautreaux 1:49
All right. I want to have further conversation when we pull her up here because I always consider myself an AMD of art. Like most people say, Oh, you’re such an extrovert. And I know I have an introverted part of me. So I wonder if she slowed down long enough. Is she really more of an introvert or is she really an ambivert?
Shannon M. 2:08
That is a good question.
Christine Gautreaux 2:13
Well, I think we go ahead and pull some of the people up here because one of the things we have not said y’all. What is today?
Shannon M. 2:20
Oh, I’m turning 90 or turning 90 the 19th episode.
Christine Gautreaux 2:25
You look darn good. My friend. Shadows low where you glow from head to toe? Oh, yeah, it is. Yeah. Well, we are going to be joined by some of our friends talking about social wellness. We could not have done this without them. The podcast, they have been speakers on the podcast, they are authors in our latest book, they are they’re just phenomenal women that we are connected to and part of our social circle and part of our wellness like the wisdom that they bring to the table and who they are in our lives. And so we want to welcome to the stage life coach CO and Shannon IV.
Shannon M. 3:12
Ladies doing
Courtney Dorsey 3:13
doing awesome. How are you? Good.
Christine Gautreaux 3:17
We are running. We are running like dancin. I don’t even know that running dancing is a better word, right? Because you get to have different flavors of dance. You sometimes get to slow down. Can y’all tell that my wellness in between prepping for the conference has been watching So You Think You Can Dance?
Courtney Dorsey 3:37
I love So You Think You Can Dance?
Shannon M. 3:39
I looked at the bad auditions the other day. I wanted to laugh a little bit. You too bad auditions.
Christine Gautreaux 3:48
I didn’t even know that was a thing.
Courtney Dorsey 3:50
Oh yeah, there was one so hilarious like the audition from American Idol a while back. What do you had on dancing? Give me your yap. He was saying oh wake me up. You gotta go look at Arias
Christine Gautreaux 4:07
who sent an IV I see that emotional support kitty that’s been with us throughout this conference. My kidney is currently won’t let me pick her up is sitting by the geckos cage like Oh, my mom’s distracted. Let me come over here. Fine. The guy goes protected but there are at least the cats trying to convince the gecko
Shannon Ivey 4:29
I can’t watch the the cat can see things that the dog cannot see. Right so the technology are fascinating.
Christine Gautreaux 4:40
And you know what was fascinating? It’s just like a cat the minute where we made a decision and they knew we were looking at him took off.
Shannon Ivey 4:47
Cats and teenagers aren’t a lot of life.
Christine Gautreaux 4:51
So you to Shannon, you just did your speech today. Knocked it out of the park. What can we get? Okay, Yeah, hello. I was raised by a football coach in Texas. So I have a lot of sports analogies. But what’s another great feminist analogy for like, you just, you rocked it. You danced your socks off.
Unknown Speaker 5:13
You?
Christine Gautreaux 5:15
What do we got? Y’all?
Courtney Dorsey 5:16
That’s a good question. And say, as a AFS, right,
Christine Gautreaux 5:21
right? I think the cat just kick Shannon. Oh my goodness. I’m so life coach. Coach. I know you’ve been working because you are a boss up of a teacher. Here’s her she comes. Did the cat kick you
Shannon Ivey 5:44
off? Cat,
Christine Gautreaux 5:48
right. That’s what we heard. I can’t hear you hope. Okay, and if you can’t hear
Shannon Ivey 5:56
cat, perfect. Yes. You saying? Oh, well. It just was.
Christine Gautreaux 6:03
It went phenomenally well, my friends. Like the only wish I could have had was more people were in the room with you. Like we found out today you’ll we’ve sold over 100 tickets for this conference. Yeah, and so they’re wanting to be present. And they’re busy women. So some of them aren’t able to be here at the time, they’re gonna get the recordings or they’re gonna and you can still get the recording job. If you hear this for the first time. And you’re like, hey, I get that sign up for a VIP package, you’re gonna get really yummy goodies coming to your door for a self care care kit. And you could get all the recordings because I every session, something has happened that poopoo annual. I’ve been in relationship with most of these women for over two years. Like I know their material. Like I was actually thinking, oh, yeah, every one of them has brought something new to the table. Every one of them is dropping resources. They’re connecting you to other incredible
Shannon Ivey 7:03
and then put it into action. I think that was my favorite part was to do have someone join me and then to like, flip it and make sure that it was on her behalf. Do you know?
Christine Gautreaux 7:15
That was such a powerful coaching moment, Shannon? Like I was like, I know her. I knew her back when
Shannon Ivey 7:25
she was a coach and she had nothing to offer. Remember those days? Like Christine, I just don’t have anything to offer any. I don’t have anything. Yeah. Shannon.
Christine Gautreaux 7:37
Right. Yeah. So powerful, y’all. And in you’ll be receiving like a link to the assessment that she walked us through. And here comes Dr. Phelps into the room. Get on up here. Dr. Phelps. Yes, right. They’re coming. Oh, I don’t know if she can hear us. We’ll give her a minute to get our tech going. Alright, life coach, CO. I know that you are popping in and out right now. Your talk is coming up. What stood out for you. Oh, you want to say when it is?
Courtney Dorsey 8:19
Friday, October 28. At 11am. Eastern Standard Time, that
Christine Gautreaux 8:31
Miami Beach is in Georgia peaches, though is going to be in the house. She is the third to last speaker. She’s session number three of the fourth day. Like y’all. I mean, every day I get excited. I look at the agenda. We’re the ones that said and I get excited.
Courtney Dorsey 8:53
Excited.
Christine Gautreaux 8:55
What’s exciting to me is first of all the generosity of our speakers and yeah, they how they’re just bringing it, y’all. I mean, and I know and I love these people. That’s why we’re connected. And I just keep getting more and more. But yeah, Shannon, what is standing out for you?
Shannon M. 9:19
For me, I think it’s the coming to fruition of everything that we talked about. Right right in the book was released a month ago, we said so it took us nine months to get here. We are talking about the conference we talked about. So now it’s been months to get here and I’m so excited to finally be here. And the people that we know and love, people that we don’t know, and people from around the world and those three different things that we specifically mentioned. And so to see it happening and see other women get their questions answered or things more confident walking in with me My new journey has been really really
Melody LeBaron 10:04
sad that I see
Christine Gautreaux 10:11
that’s powerful. In
Courtney Dorsey 10:14
I’m so proud that I share that show. And Christina just, I’m just so proud to see you guys just dominating and just showing your femininity and just showing your bossiness all in different ways is just so exciting to see. I was like shedding your skin is glowing. You look amazing up there. I was like, she looked at her fashio I was like, so proud. Christina, you’re amazing at communicating and just navigating all of the communication. I just thought that was awesome. And Shannon IV you’re just you’re just a natural man, you just the way you just step in. And just this was it. This was like breathing for you. You know what I’m saying? So I’m just so proud. I’m so proud. I just wish that I could be all up in there. But you know, they won’t let me have that they won’t have it.
Christine Gautreaux 11:10
Well on those kiddos needs you life coach go. They need you. They need your light. What I love is here you are an Amazon Best selling author, a speaker and you’re doing the thing. Like you’re doing the thing with your kids, you your life coach to adults, but you are you look at that stick I love. Yes. And now we don’t have our virtual backgrounds on so we could actually see it right. It was a little weird for me to jump from the virtual background to this background. It was like, Oh, what am I wearing now? Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. Y’all, let’s take a deep breath with each other. Huh? Just take a moment, because I know we’re all high energy. And some of our listeners are gonna be like, What are y’all been doing?
Shannon M. 12:02
Being around each other. That’s what happens. You get around people a high, high positive energy that push you up.
Christine Gautreaux 12:09
Right? And reflect your light to you. Yeah, right. We see each other’s light as we shine. And, and just the power of community when you said that Shannon, like nine months? Yeah. And we did birth this book baby together. Right. And there was some labor. And there were some tears, and there was some doubt. And there was like, are we ready? Are we ready? Like even as our speakers got ready for this conference? Right? Am I ready? I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m presenting. I don’t know. And everybody so far has just like, showing up and shown out. And even one of my favorite moments, and it was so different than everything else. But Shannon, our convert Shannon Mitchell, our conversation today. We just have a small circle, a conversation about intellectual wellness, and were we doing it or was that the one weakness on? Okay, look, it’s all starting to blur. Are they to you got it? Yes. But that was powerful. Because one of our guests that said, you know, I didn’t know if I was going to come on camera, and she was on camera with us almost the whole time. Yes. You and and really honoring what she’s trying to figure out. She wants to offer the world. And and Felicia, what really felt like a call to action to me about was living in our purpose and our passion. Where’s that intersection? Right?
Shannon M. 13:32
Yeah. And what I think about, especially with us talking about social wellness this week, is a therapist that I went to, and I was thinking about her earlier, Shannon, when you were sharing your story about how you needed to see yourself in your journal pages and the activity that was your homework that day from your therapist. And the last time I went to one of the pages that I love that you brought that journal to the conference today. And one of the things my therapist at the time asked me was how was your social support? And I said, That’s a great question. I have some good people around me. Right? How connected are we? How connected? Am I to the people that I’m close to right now? And what are the reasons for that for COVID? We know that it’s just some people, right? My friends were children got stretched, I had friends that were sick, they got stretched, and realistically, coming from a healthy place. I can’t expect them to show up every day how my best friend used to in middle school when we were the kid before she had kids. It’s not the same, you know? So for me piggybacking off of last week’s episode of mental and emotional support and entrepreneurship and the effects on women and how over 70% of us are likely to be affected by mental and emotional. It’s the support through the winds through the challenges to the day to day where my book said where’s my hard drive computer flying off the top of the car before a conference and how do we do it all? So for me the social support and hearing Stories and knowing that I’m connected to resources in whichever dimension I need them. That gives me solid ground to do difficult things to do things for the first time to have fun with it. And that’s been amazing.
Shannon Ivey 15:15
That made me think of the demand if I happen. Yeah, of course, that next thing when he said, Where’s my energy? You know, he’s like, why are you so exhausted? And I was holding to the sides of the well. And I, if I think about it on a day to day basis, it can look like when things are out of congruence, I might spend a lot of time on them, instead of letting them go. Do you know like, there are different ways that I still like, say no to what is, but when it when I need to let things go and let things go? Well, do you know there’s a flow to it? But that’s what made me think of and that little coaching session when it’s like, am I disconnected? unconnected is connected to people because there’s a lack in me, are they just not vibrating their own integrity, because if I’m with you, and you’re on your, in your truth, and in your integrity, I might not need but 1015 minutes, and we’re good. That’s my favorite thing to say to Christine Gautreaux. It’s like you got 10 minutes.
Christine Gautreaux 16:17
I love those conversations.
Shannon Ivey 16:21
And Christina will be like, either, I got 10 minutes in about 15 minutes, or she’ll be like, though, and we just go jump. And those kind of all you don’t need quantity, you just need quality.
Christine Gautreaux 16:35
Or I’ll say I have eight will that work.
Courtney Dorsey 16:44
Eight is the number of new beginnings. mean, I just wanted to hop in here because I don’t have to go in a few. But I did have a few things that I wanted to say that was that affected me in some of the things that you said we when the passion and purpose was a big deal message earlier because I literally had a passion purpose conversation with myself last night got I had to take a nap because I was like, so overstimulated overwhelmed. So I had to get down and take a nap. I was just feeling the pressures and the weight of everything that we’ve been doing on top of everything that’s been going on, at work. And I was really like, feeling like I was like two steps away from spiraling. So I was like, Okay, I’m gonna take a nap, that’s always a great thing to do, watch a little TV, take a nap and let them not just let my body do what it needs to do. So I did that. And I woke up. And I was like, okay, so what I’m gonna do is I’m going to go take a shower, eat some food, and then get back on my work train. And it’s nothing. It’s not me saying no, you’re not. No, you’re not. What you did was you got up for it, you went to work 45 minutes early, you did what you could you you failed in every single piece of that time, when you were there. Also say later, what you’re going to do now is you’re going to remember who you are and who’s you are, you’re going to relax, you’re going to decompress. And you got to remember that your Courtney, and that you don’t let nobody boss you around and force you into doing anything other than your best. And your best is the definition of what you can offer and what you know that you can do. And that’s it, I can’t I my boss is not going to pressure me to give more than I have to give. I’m not going to pressure myself with the perfectionism. So I had to have the social wellness conversation with myself. It was like one, talking to myself as an individual, because my thing is always treating yourself like a person
having a conversation with myself and checking back in. And then Shannon IV was like the journaling. And I sat down for Lisa’s in journal instead of sitting with the other teachers. Because I was like, I need to get my emotions out. But I also need to flip it and let the Spirit do what it’s going to do and how it’s going to move because of the job isn’t just up to me is going to be all negative. But it needs to be flipped. How are we going to flip today, and some gratitude with it as some positivity with it because like you guys, were talking about years earlier, I’ve been reading a book called laziness does not exist by Devin price PhD. So it’s a really good book about the laziness lie that we’ve been fed all over society to work past what we’re capable of past our capacity burning out, and things like that. So having that moment I was like, I need to practice on positive psychology. What do I know exactly? That I can apply to All changes right now, one of the things was not sitting with my co workers for recess, because all we do is talk about the bad that’s going on the overwork, the overwhelming. They’re complaining and venting. And sometimes it becomes too much of a circle of negativity. And it’s not me saying to them that may make them feel better. But for me, after a while, I can only do it so much. There’s something inside of me telling me I need something better. So just having that power, purpose conversation, that walking in purpose conversation, treating myself like a person and splitting their social wellness piece. Because this was only something I could do for myself. This is one of those conversation pieces that I had to tap into myself and say, Look, you know who you are, you know what you’re capable of you know that you are not being lazy, you know that you are giving your best. And you know that you can’t do everything. And you also know that she needs to have grace for yourself. So what we’re going to do is, we’re going to go baldy spaghetti is to go with our food, and we’re going to eat and we’re going to watch a movie and be compressed. And that’s what I did. And even in comparison today, I’m like, I want to get on it. Christine, I’m going to tap in, I want to get home and we’re going to have a good time Friday, I’m ready to have fun, I’m ready to talk, I’m ready to do it. Because everything in life doesn’t have to be scary to the point where you don’t stop and breathe and embrace the moment like at the bully, that you don’t embrace the moment and look up and see what are we doing here we are women connected in wisdom. This is women connecting in wisdom podcast. And we are all in different areas. But we are more connected than we’ve been throughout this whole process of everything that we are birthing out. And I just want you to be being encouraging and shed a light on what you guys are doing. And what’s been going on in this conference and just what’s been going on in this whole process of social wellness and being able to because of the conversations that we’ve had an encouragement and just the energy that we share amongst each other, that I was even able to have that conversation with myself and snap out of it. So I’m just really proud of you guys. I’m proud of this process. Melody is already on here. She’s extremely awesome. And I’m so excited to see her. And I just wanted to share that. Yeah, because I didn’t tell somebody that’s gonna be in the Thursday saved an email, but I wanted to tell people that I had to snap out of it, because it was like, Oh, you’re going down that rabbit hole? Yeah, you’re just gonna get that, and I gotta do this. And I’m just like, I can’t do it all. And that’s okay.
Shannon M. 22:38
And thank you for sharing core. And before you get off, I want you to know, I was scheduled at three on Thursday, I had to text my general manager, like, I’m not gonna be there. And I was supposed to be the big boss, I was supposed to be the highest in the whole restaurant, I said, I can’t go, I’m not going to be hospitable. I’m not, I’m gonna go off on somebody like, it’s not going to be okay. And I’m not going to operate from wellness because of the same thing. So we hold space for that and shout out to you for honoring yourself for getting up and still resting because we’ll rest we’ll go to sleep and then get up and start working. That’s how we got there. You know, so, way to decompress way to say yes to yourself. And boundaries are important. And that’s what I think about what Shannon IV says what she said and kind of what we were hitting on in the conferences. Sometimes other people aren’t keeping their own boundaries. And it reminds me of a mom, right I went into so my dad didn’t want to write we talked about farming, we talked about Dad coaches, all this stuff, and my dad mowed lawns. And as a child, sometimes we will have the nice people who will let me in their house and give me something to drink and give me something to eat. Right. So I was in this bathroom. And she had all these sayings on the wall at all her rules. And I was like, Well, what is going on. And one of the things in the bathroom said just because what it is say your lack of planning does not call for an emergency on my part, right? And that’s a lot of our stuff with wellness, you didn’t take care of your finances, and now you need help and you haven’t taken care of your emotional and mental and now I have to pick up the baggage or you’re dumping on me and this this balance of everything. And so holding the boundaries is necessary sometimes stuff happens, you know, and as we are intentional with our wellness, we’re going to have those moments.
Courtney Dorsey 24:21
Absolutely, I miss some of the gems that you said, but I’m not going to make the people go back over and listen to it again. I’ll catch the replay cuz guys always good, but I’m proud of you guys. I’m so proud of you guys. You are all amazing women and just doing a lot and and it’s not because you have to. It’s because you want to and that’s the difference that people have because I don’t want to be on here creating any type of culture. Hustle, hustle and bustle. This is not a hustle and bustle. This is something that all of us wants to do and all of those wants To be here, sharing this information to help make your lives better to help, you know and recognize your wellness and what that looks like for you in all of these dimensions. So I definitely want to put that out there. I wish I had to check in with myself and say, Hey, because those are important conversations, man, you literally have to ask yourself, do I even care about this? Or do I care that somebody else cares about this? Because I had to ask myself, do I really care if my bed is made up in the morning? I don’t? I don’t. That’s my mom. I wish I care. I do I do. So
Christine Gautreaux 25:45
that’s a great segue for Melanie Luberon, because
Shannon M. 25:48
that’s what I was gonna say, Melody, what do you say about that, and not that cool, you can’t have your opinion. I was I was thinking about melody.
Melody LeBaron 25:56
I actually, I love that. Here’s why. Because as adults, when we are moving in our world, in resistance to something that happened, when we were children, we have to get over that, we have to get over that. One of the things that I notice and share with my clients is that many times, you know, a lot of times clients find me in their 30s, their 40s, sometimes their 50s and 60s, right. And so they have adulterated their relationships, they have matured their relationships, they have refused to stay in a relationship where they’re being abused. And so they clean things up in their relationships, but in their relationship with their home, there are still areas of their home, that make them feel like they did in their family of origin, in that dysfunction. And so if there are any areas of your home, that give you that same body sense that you had in a dysfunctional relationship, earlier in your life, let’s go down to the root of that. We don’t want anyone to feel like there’s someone, there’s some authority figure outside of themselves, telling them what to do, or how they have to keep their space. Right? For me, it’s about how do you want to keep your space, What lights your fire, what makes you sparkle, what gives you the feeling of living in Sanctuary, that’s what I want my clients to feel like,
Courtney Dorsey 27:52
I want to check into that melody, because that’s really good. And the thing about it is that for me, one of the things that I realized in the process was that I was being so hard on myself about not being as organized as I think that I should be. And so there’s a two fold of that, you know what I mean? Like, there is a part, hey, you do have to get organized to make this process better for you. But we also know that that’s not where you shine. So if I put too much energy into the things that I’m not shining in, then the areas that I’m shining in, are going to start to them. And that’s what I noticed my irritability, was getting higher, because my energy was focused on things that require more of my energy and more of my attention. That’s that intellectual emotional piece of this wellness, that kind of drew that kind of spilled over into the social because again, knowing yourself is so important, because I know, I when I was doing my journaling, I know it was like, hey, what areas you we’ve been talking about your weak areas for so long, what are your strengths, your strength, my strength is building that community and that social wellness piece, but the fact that I was putting my energy so much into the organizing and trying to be perfect and have everything it was causing the social wellness piece or the communal piece to fall apart because I was irritable and anxious and annoyed most of the time. So it’s like every time people were approaching me, it was like, I can’t, I can’t I can’t back off. And then it was like, Hey, you have that what’s going on? What are you doing? Right now is not the time to focus on being organized for me is right now is the time to build those surance and those characters and let those things start to slowly build work on one small thing at a time. Instead of trying to become a graphic organizer like melody overnight, you know
Christine Gautreaux 30:00
If we’re being kind to yourself what I’m hearing is pulling up Darch Cynthia Phelps and her work on self compassion and being really kind and loving with yourself that you don’t have to be perfect. What do you got to say about this dark Phelps? Hey, y’all, this is a great place to take a break. Take a deep breath, and hear from our awesome sponsors that make women connected and wisdom podcast possible. Shannon, we are so grateful that Shayla glow is the sponsor of the women connected in wisdom podcast. And I wanted to take this moment to ask you when you think about the people who use Shayla glow? Where are we talking about?
Shannon M. 30:39
This a good question. I think about three groups really, one, the group that’s removing hair, right, so whether you’re using laser hair removal, waxing, shaving, you got to make sure that you’re putting back what you’re taking out the second group, I think about those with dry skin, and the problems that that might cause right, the scars, itching, burning, whatever the situation is, you definitely need all three steps, right? The exfoliation making sure you’re taking the dead skin cells off the oil, putting in the moisture, and then the shea butter with the aloe, sealing it helping you heal those things helped both groups, right. And third, for the third group is those with chronic illness. You know, the story is personally from cancer and different diseases that our population is dealing with on a daily basis throughout families as individuals. So I’m thinking about my mom and my grandmother and those around me with the same generational ties, right, and what positive healthy habits, we can start to make sure that we’re maintaining our wellness, especially because the skin is like the cape, the exterior the the shield for your immune system. So with COVID We have to be intentional about covering ourselves. And those are the groups I think about. I love
Christine Gautreaux 31:52
it. And you know what else I love about your product? It’s all natural, handmade, and it smells great, y’all, so yay.
Shannon M. 32:02
Yes, Esthetician tested and approved. Yes. Yes. What about you? When you think about your company? What groups of people do you think about?
Christine Gautreaux 32:11
Well, you know, I work with individual coaching clients, I work in community classes and with corporate teams, and with all of them, I use a strength based embodied approach to help folks connect with themselves and access joy, reduce burnout, and build resilience. You know, especially during these times, I think we need it. I think we need all the hashtag partnership power we can get. Yes. Sounds good to me.
Cynthia Phelps 32:40
I’ve definitely benefited from Melody’s skills and her guidance in my own life for sure. And, yes, self compassion is so important, especially when you’re comparing yourself to, you know, maybe ideals that you see online, or like you said, conditioning.
Shannon M. 33:00
And something else I want to lift up to, especially because we talk about self care, business care, right? There’s multiple parts of the business, there’s a product or service, there’s the legal part, communication, cashflow, the team, the mission, all these things, right. So we have one business, or multiple businesses, and then our employees and other business. Well, it might take three hours to go grocery shopping, and prep and organize a refrigerator, you know, if you try to do it in 15 minutes, and then beat yourself up about it, at the end of the long day, then is is the math isn’t that mapping? You know, so for me, it’s points to the expectations and the capacity on the plate. And a lot of times as professional women, we talk about the laundry all the time, the basket of laundry that might sit there with a pile of laundry. And I think that’s where it comes from. It’s just the reality of how long it takes to do stuff. And hey, if you’re doing xy and z then that automatically need to start bringing other people on people or I need three people or it’s just not realistic. And that’s the reality of the situation.
Christine Gautreaux 34:05
Can I tell you I want them to members of my team Instacart Instacart has been a member of my team since I wrote the first book, because I looked up and well my kids looked up actually, when they were teenagers. Were like, Mom, there’s no doubt that in the house and I’m like I’m on a deadline. You know, there’s food in the house, you know, you know, you get to that spot where there’s food in the house. Nobody’s starving, but it’s not what they like, right? And I discovered Instacart before the pandemic and I was like, Oh, look at this tool. Look at these team members who like want to do the shopping for me. And at first I was really struggling with I was struggling with. It felt like a lot of privilege, right. And I do have that privilege that I was able to use this service and I live in an area that that it was it was here And, and I was like, Oh, the money and data data. And but what I realized was the time it saved me save me money. And I don’t have impulse control when I go to all the and there’s that beautiful little aisle that has all those really random, cool things. In the first time, I was like, Oh, I’m not gonna Instacart I’m gonna go the grocery store by myself, like, I’m gonna go do this, right? I got time. I spent 100 more dollars than I would admit, if I had them drop it, and they bring it up my stairs, y’all. Like Shane and I are doing this conference. And we had a break today. And there was our lunch because some beautiful human being brought it to our door. And all I had to do so who’s on your team? And what do we need? And Shannon, you have Shannon, it you have something to say about this?
Shannon Ivey 35:49
I’m noticing that I have friends who have people that clean their homes. I don’t have a few friends. I have an IT is when I ask how much that is. I have lots of judgment about it. And maybe it is about like what this clean mean, and what is paying another person to help you with something that I was trained was my job. And not my dad’s job, not his mom, literally Shannon’s job, Shannon is good at it. I don’t know. So I’m just fascinated by that. I think labor is gendered. And my thoughts about it inside of me are gendered. So I’m still trying to I’m not gonna use my words, but you know what I’m gonna say I’m in special recovery, because it still exists in my spinal cord, and I gotta get it out and then look at it. Like, what is this about? Be curious about it?
Shannon M. 36:41
Yeah.
Christine Gautreaux 36:42
Thank you. Thank you for lifting that up. Because it’s so true. Melody, you look like you have something you want to add on?
Melody LeBaron 36:49
Yes, thank you, it is so true. And, you know, one of the things my clients have to agree to, if they’re going to work with me, is what I call fierce non judgement. Fierce non judgement on themselves fierce non judgement on their space. And we are, we have to be willing to explore not just what’s in our space, but what is in our consciousness like Shaman COVID just brought up for us, it’s super important for us to recognize that we are not just being affected by things we are being affected by beliefs, our beliefs, and the beliefs that are in the collective. And when we can hold fierce non judgement, is when we can see what is really affecting us and make a more deliberate choice. Yeah,
Christine Gautreaux 37:48
can I just speak to that real quick melody, because our listeners know what now the whole conference knows, I’ve taken your class two times. And I’ve taken a couple other workshops with you and I listened to you and on our podcasts because like, I’m a huge fan follower, because I’m, I’m doing my best to get this right, right, about environmental wellness in my home and all those thoughts in judgment. And every time you say that about non judgement, my shoulders go down, like another quarter of an inch. Like I feel my body relaxing. And I’m almost to that point. But every time something else bubbles up about where that story came from, where why I’m not in the partnership, I want to be in with my house, right? Because what’ll happen is i i lesson that I think I think Oh, and like was Cynthia would say Dr. Phelps would say like, Oh, it’s okay. Like when you give me permission. That’s like, I think we need a melody in our ally card. Dr. Phelps. I’m just saying their car like organizer declutter, like, can we just make a special melody, okay to put in the deck, even if it’s for just those of us that know her, I would be so tickled to pull my melody card out. But it really gives me sat in reality, it gives me the permission to say, Oh, baby, it’s okay, you’ve got this. And to have the insight because the inside I got this week, and we’ve known each other I mean, we’re going on a little bit of knowing each other here, right. And the insight I realized this week at the conference, was that I was raised on a small farm. I’m very much connected to nature in the land. And I was taught to value the outside more than the inside. And I was taught that it’s way more fun to be outside and in my body that felt true to write. It’s way more fun to be outside than it is inside cleaning. And so I was always my dad’s helper. I was always one that went outside and worked on the farm and worked outside and, and I didn’t I mean, I grudgingly did my chores. Like because they were hard and it was you know, we got Fustat and I’d had to be a certain way and I was never good enough at it. Because I had dirt on my shoes and you know Oh, so all those things right and just having compassion, like, here’s the thing I’m gonna say about social wellness in this conference, especially what I’m loving, so far, just about the two days, and we’ve got two more days is the weaving together of everybody’s modalities and the weaving together of this wisdom to really form like, because I think about your words of non judgment, I think about Dr. Phelps words of self compassion. And who do we need in this moment, we need the melody LeBaron inner ally car, so.
Shannon M. 40:38
And what I love too, about the fact that you’ve taken the class twice and are talking about her offerings for next year, Christine, is that no matter how much hope we get, we still might not be the expert in that area. Right? Like the shea butter is not hard to make, but you don’t want to make shea butter I got you know, so sometimes it’s about the team, hey, you were always going to do the schedule, I’m always going to do the money. And that’s how we’re going to separate it. And that’s what it’s going to be and that’s okay.
Cynthia Phelps 41:04
I love that, Shannon. And you know, that was pretty much Well, I wanted to come on here and say, I wanted to just reflect back again, the fact that the speakers and the authors of the book have so much wisdom from so many different perspectives, right. And the fact that that what you said it went from mid 20s to 80 years old that we have here. And so, you know, listening to Karen talk earlier and offer up her resources, right, the of people that she knows, like, we already have this beautiful community of our little 18 authors, which is opening up into a larger community of women that are connected and wisdom. And this is powerful, like this is the power right? I’m glad I don’t have to be a melody. I’m glad that I don’t have to be a Christine. And I’m so glad that I have Shannon in my life now. And and so I wanted to just really cheer lead that, because it is so powerful to have a community around you and this woman and connect connected in wisdom community is fantastic. And so thank you so much for putting this together. You too. And it I’m just excited to see what is going to happen next.
Shannon M. 42:40
Thank you so much.
Melody LeBaron 42:43
I’m with her. What she said, I can’t wait to see where we’re going next with this team. Because the top, the top
Shannon M. 42:53
or wherever we should be right. But I’m competitive. We’re going to the top. That’s all right. I like to be on top of the world. And that’s what it’s about, you know, be us showing up authentically sharing our stories and just being ourselves being able to show up in our power and have somewhere to where it’s safe to say you know what, I don’t know this, or this is actually how I feel I don’t want to make my bed. What do you think about that? Is it going to be the end of the world? Does that mean I’ll never complete anything? Well, it depends on how you like your environment. And that’s the environmental wellness of it, you know, so this was truly our dream, bringing women that we knew and did not know, and their resources to the table, then something else I love about it, ladies, and I don’t know how often I talk about this. But as women again, we’re taught to ignore our needs and overextend ourselves, right. So if I know somebody that needs help, I do not have to be the sole resource. I’m great at organizing, right, but melody is certified in Fung Shui, she is going to be the higher level of expertise in that right. So I can help you find some clear containers like the home edit said, but she can walk you through and it has been doing it since she was a young girl with her other six siblings, right. And that’s what I love is that we don’t have to overextend ourselves. And we could just point to the resources and stay in our power and the area that we like to reside in.
Christine Gautreaux 44:12
In this beautiful overlap, right, and that and that’s, you know, one of the things that I’ve talked with several of y’all on this call and you know, there’s enough work for everybody, y’all. There is enough work. Duck Phelps, thanks for popping by I know you got to go. We adore you. Your presentation was it kicked us off? It was session number one. It was phenomenal. Everybody’s been talking about the inner ally cards almost in every session that we’ve been in, they come up at least once. So and you know, on this podcast, we talked about them often. So yay for inner allies. And now my creative brain has just given me all kinds of ideas.
Cynthia Phelps 44:52
Well, I’m very excited about it. And melody has given me many creative ideas and I love that now she is embodying one of the ideas Yes. Bye, everybody.
Melody LeBaron 45:05
Bye. Oh,
Christine Gautreaux 45:07
that is the power of connection, isn’t it? It is the power of connection. We got a little funky here. Let me see if I can get that way. There we go that way wouldn’t see us a little better. Ah, Melody. I have you. Oh, go ahead,
Shannon M. 45:23
excuse me for cutting you off. And I was thinking about this. The other day, I remember one day when I realized, who do we decorate our houses for? Is it for us? Or is it for the people that come over? Right? And I thought started thinking about just like we talk about our life, like who makes this who? Who really set the values in your life who makes the rules that you follow? So when you think about social wellness, how do you see that it relates to what you do in organizing?
Christine Gautreaux 45:53
Can I tell a funny story real quick before you say that melody? Okay. I had a neighbor who’s no longer my neighbor. When we moved into this house, we decorator and we’re artists, we’re creatives. My husband has incredible artwork, and a lot of his artwork. The women are a little scantily clad. Sometimes they’re beautiful. And but they’re hanging in our living room, because it’s bizarre. And I had this neighbor come over and she was younger than us. And she was sitting on my couch. And she said, your artwork makes me uncomfortable. And I took a deep breath because the old me would have just been horrified and been like oh, and the part of me that isn’t wellness like during goes well for sure don’t go up to my bedroom
door came up for me she ended up pass to
Melody LeBaron 46:50
you. So this is a really important point. And it was just like COEs comment about do I make my bed or not? Right? We need to be at choice. In our own environment, the more you can be at choice, the more you deliberately choose the colors, the textures, the furnishings the art, the more you’re going to be able to put yourself in that same command position in your relationships. Right? It was very difficult for me growing up in a dysfunctional family of origin to set boundaries and say no. Which, you know, in my 30s When my home office looked like a bomb had gone off, made sense that I was having a hard time setting boundaries and saying no. And giving myself what I needed when I got the shelving systems when I set boundaries with my time and got rid of everything that I didn’t need, again, another boundary. Yeah, another yes or no? And then kept what I, you know, was what was going to need again, I was then faced with a choice. Do I want this to be a utilitarian looking space? Or do I want it to express my personality. And you can see behind me that I’ve painted the walls that I have plants that I have my favorite textures, by sheepskin that I do yoga on is right behind me on my chair. Everything in my space reflects what I find beautiful. And that allows me to live an aesthetic life rather than an anesthetic or numbed life. Still, it’s it’s a subtle difference. Just subtle, subtle, subtle, but it makes a huge difference in the long run, putting yourself in the command position, making yourself the locus of attention in your closet, in your bathroom as streamlining the ease of getting ready during the day. That affects every relationship you are going to encounter that day. Yeah.
Shannon M. 49:29
Wisdom, I love it. Thank you so much for your answer. So you know you’ve been on the show before we do a wisdom and action every week. And if Shannon IV is available, she will jump on and participated. Nice Okay, she just popped out so we’ll do it the three of us together for social wellness What is your wisdom and action this week? Melody?
Melody LeBaron 49:50
Oh goodness, uh, my wisdom in action is it has to do with the changing of the seasons. So So my wisdom and action is, as I bring down the bins of, of warmer winter clothes and swap them out for the sandals and the summer clothes. As I do that I am celebrating. I’m just I’m celebrating the abundance of a eased and peace because I’m participating in sustainable systems.
Christine Gautreaux 50:28
Hashtag celebrate.
Shannon M. 50:30
Yes,
Christine Gautreaux 50:31
I’ve got mine already. Shannon, you want to go or you want me to go? What’s yours? Oh, I’m taking what Melanie just said about hashtag be it choice. Right? Like we were talking about at the beginning of the show. I mean, we’re putting on this big deal. This big conference. I could be running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Boy, you could tell I was raised on a farm. Sorry, y’all. That’s one of those things are phrases. They were like, Oh, yeah. And taking a moment to pause and reflect and celebrate and hopefully get some sleep. You know, folks that were on the conference knew that I didn’t sleep well last night, but really just be at choice. What do I need to? Oh, here comes Dr. Sheila que Collins popping on here. Oh, hang on.
Sheila K Collins 51:26
I needed one more thing to do today, I didn’t have quite enough.
Shannon M. 51:32
Welcome to the party.
Christine Gautreaux 51:35
We were just actually wrapping and talking about being a choice and just our day and thinks about social wellness. So you want to just say hello and give a shout out before we go. Well, that’s it.
Sheila K Collins 51:49
That’s what I’m doing. I just had to take the dog. I you know, i i my former husband is his less hours I’m dealing with people sending me emails about that. And, and I did a rehearsal for the wing it for the program that’s coming on Sunday for raising money for Interplay
Christine Gautreaux 52:17
International Week of interplay. I’m going to be with you in that performance. Sheila told them I couldn’t be there today. Going on. Which we’ll put a link to that in the show notes to about the International Week of interplay, because there’s a couple of us performing in that on Sunday, and it’s going to be super fun. And tomorrow Sheila is your TA Oh, that’s right. Yes. So just another thing that getting ready for you’re gonna have I’m making sure I’ve got the timing right. Let me pull it up. I’ve got so many notes in my head. You are coming on tomorrow at 130 talking about the physicality of grief a dancers reflection on the art of grieving.
Shannon M. 53:00
Yes. And minus after her just go from head to toe, right,
Christine Gautreaux 53:04
your glow from head to toe tomorrow. The other thing, let me tell everybody real quick as we’re so tomorrow, we gather at 930. We are having occupational wellness with trtc Griffin. We are having Laurel and Stark who was last week’s guest who was phenomenal. She’ll be doing doing a whole session. And then we have Sheila and then we have Shannon, and then we have SATA murale. Let’s give her a giant shout out. She’s gonna go yes. Do you know and she’s going to do some African dance with us. So between Sheila session with some interplay, and some African dance, y’all wear comfortable clothes and be ready to have some fun?
Shannon M. 53:51
And she said, No, we don’t always get to talk about this. But I love being in the same dimension of wellness with you in the book. Because over COVID We’ve experienced so much grief. Right? And we talk about holding both the grief and the gratitude. And Shayla glue has helped so many people with that just the physical touch. And a lot of times if they don’t dance, they get that part of it, you know. So for me through my grief and everything that we’ve been working through as a community, I see how they go together and I appreciate your wisdom and you sharing your story that’s so vulnerable with everything that you’ve been through and helping us learn how to move through it.
Sheila K Collins 54:28
Well, thank you and one of the great things about it is I can dance on your behalf and you can just be there and and or you can dance on my behalf. You don’t have to do it all yourself. That’s the nice part.
Christine Gautreaux 54:43
Sheila, I heard you say that about your former husband and I heard you say where you are. So I will do a dance on your behalf tonight. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Yes, I know that’s a big deal. And you wrote about in your blog and if folks aren’t following your blog, y’all go to Sheila kake.com and sign up for this amazing writers blog. She will send it directly to your email. It’s powerful every week. And she gives you resources. She gives you new ways to think about things. And it’s just incredible. So,
Shannon M. 55:15
so Sheila again, as you came on, we were talking about our wisdom and action. And melody gave her as Christine give. Where’s What is your wisdom and action for social wellness this week?
Sheila K Collins 55:28
Oh, my goodness. Well, just keep moving. That’s I mean, you have to just keep moving. The worst thing in life is getting stuck. You don’t want to be stuck. It was so yeah,
Shannon M. 55:40
that’ll work. Keep moving. Mine is apply the wisdom. We we talked about wisdom and action every week, right? We’ve been talking about, hey, knowledge is great. It’s pointless if you don’t put action behind it. A lot of great nuggets. Melody, I went home like, Okay, we keep in both chairs. We need to get rid of one. What do we need to do? Yes, action steps. Yes, yeah. Yes, we’re seeing I think you’re
Christine Gautreaux 56:09
I am muted. Because I love that so much. And, and I was just having the thought, you know, Melody said earlier in her session, if, if you’re not in a place where you can hire a professional organizer, or you know that you could train a friend, she could train a friend to help you and think I just, I don’t know, there’s so many nuggets that keep dropping in my head. It’s probably why I couldn’t sleep last night, because I was so excited. So that’s my other wisdom in action is sleep and sleep. You know? So, yes, y’all, if you want to join us, we have two days left on this fabulous conference, there are still tickets, you can get them. If you’ve missed the sessions, you can get the VIP package and get all the recordings and you won’t regret it like it is. For all of us on it. I think, you know, we’ve been getting this whole call in a way. But I think it just speaks to the level of who’s showing up and what they’re talking about and what they’re bringing to the table and how powerful it is. And I am just grateful to be in community with each and every one of you and the folks that came on before you. The folks will see the next two days like Thank you. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for everything. And
Sheila K Collins 57:26
thank you you guys are terrific.
Melody LeBaron 57:30
Thank you for creating the container the circle within which women can connect and collaborate you. SHAN Yeah. Christine, thank you. You.
Christine Gautreaux 57:44
You are so welcome. Usually, we as y’all know you’ve been on our podcast, we bumped you back into the green room, but I think we’re just in such a spirit of being together these four days. And you want to close this.
Shannon M. 57:56
Absolutely. Thank you so much, ladies for being here for episode 90 and season 10. Right we will be here for the last episode, physical wellness of the season next week. In the meantime, don’t forget be well, be wise, and be whole.
Satimara 58:08
Thanks for listening. This has been the women connected and wisdom podcast on air live on Wednesdays at 5 pm. Eastern via Facebook and YouTube. Be sure to like share and subscribe be part of the conversation and get connected at women connected in wisdom.com.
