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Join Shannon & Christine as they chat about Emotional/Mental Wellness with special guest Laurel Anne Stark.

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Shannon M. 0:16
Hello so this one I just thought about for the first time, okay, so when I would go to church retreats and stuff, I love all the voices singing behind me, right? I love energy like that. So I just thought about a room full of women just bouncing their shoulders to the music. And like our guests dancing behind stage. I see you. I see you. We’re all dancing. It’s gonna be so good

Christine Gautreaux 0:54
for our in person conference, when that finally gets to happen, right? I love that. women’s voices being raised in song or shouting or laughter, right? Yeah, I am pretty well, how are you?

Shannon M. 1:10
I’m good. You know, I love and I say this all the time. I love how we talk about holding both the grief and the gratitude. And I’m excited to talk about mental and emotional wellness today. Because when it tips to one side, it tips to the other it gets interesting, you know, how do you react within yourself? How do you respond to the people around you? And that’s what I realized when I graduated college, you know, psychology is one of those degrees people might put on the list that is not relevant, right or in mind you Why is there a list of degrees? It’s not relevant, but that’s not what we’re talking about. That’s intellectual wellness or social, right? Maybe, I guess it ties in, but nonetheless, at I would tell people that it’s not just you know, as a therapist, you’re sitting on somebody’s couch. I deal with psychology when I’m by myself, and when I’m with other people. And that’s the same with emotional and mental. So I’m excited to have this conversation.

Christine Gautreaux 2:02
Right, holding the grief and gratitude. I went camping this last weekend with about 2500 of my dearest friends. I did not

Shannon M. 2:12
20 I did not know it was that big of a grossing

Christine Gautreaux 2:15
festival. But you know, I don’t interact with that many. Our camp was about 20. And that’s about our group where we do what I always call it we do ceremony in the midst of chaos, because we put up a labyrinth we do ceremony. We had a new camp mate who did sound bass, he’s a He goes by the name wizard, and he’s a sound healer. And so he brought like four major gongs and giant singing bowls. And it was just it was lovely. But everybody was asking me when I got home because it’s first time I’ve taken that many days off in a while and there was like, Hey, do you get some rest and I was like, I am rejuvenated, I would not say that I got the rest that I needed. So hold him both right. So grateful to be able to get off the grid for four days and, and to have a really good time with friends and people that we haven’t gotten to gather with for three years because of the pandemic. So that was absolutely lovely.

Shannon M. 3:16
Good. I hear what you’re saying. And that’s the reality of it right sometimes. And I’ve realized this, taking different trips throughout my 20s right, going to Costa Rica going to where else that I go Florida a couple of times, you know when different places, but they’re escaping me, but I knew when I got home from the trip, you would want rest from the trip. You thought you were going to rest but then you get there. You’re like I didn’t come all the way to Escazu Costa Rica to sleep I need to get out, go to the mountains. Look at the monkeys crawling across the phone wire. You know, that’s why I came and then you get home you’re like, Ooh, I still need to not go back to worship. So how do you balance it? You know? Yeah, right.

Christine Gautreaux 3:59
Well, and it’s also fascinating. Well, I kind of want to save this and have this conversation with our guests today talking about emotional and mental wellness. But should we intro and let folks who are new know who we are and what we’re doing here today?

Shannon M. 4:11
Absolutely. I’m going off the dome because I do not have it in front of me but I know my name. Hey ladies. My name is Shana Mitchell. I’m a black millennial business owner, the founder of Shiloh glow LLC, and women connected in wisdom. Right now we are Amazon best selling authors just launched the book in November excuse me in September, and I’m your champion for natural skincare and practical businesses systems.

Christine Gautreaux 4:37
When love that you know your name. Hey, y’all. I’m Christine Gautreaux, white social justice advocate and international speaker, coach and published best selling author who helps you upgrade yourself in community care. And together

Shannon M. 4:51
Yes, we are women connected in wisdom, a podcast grounded in the eight dimensions of wellness

Christine Gautreaux 4:57
and we love to get together every week to have intentional conversation. sessions with our guests about how to be wise and business in relationships and in wellness. How do we juggle all this? How do we do it?

Shannon M. 5:07
Yes, yes, yes. And I know a lot of times we talk about a B being okay and not always chasing an A, and I’m gonna be honest, as a nurse, and honor student, I still want the a, you know, I get it, I get it. But I saw this post, I saw this quote on this post this last week, and it said, completion over perfection. And that makes me feel better about it. You know, did it get done, because I know things get done. And I be overanalyze, and try to be perfect and never finish it. That bothers me more than it would have bothered me, had I released it and not have been perfect. And I could do it again next time, just like the beginning of this, that kind of bothers me the way we came in, but it happens. It’s life. You know, it’s only for a second, nobody’s gonna run up and bite me. It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re episode 89. You know, that’s figure it out,

Christine Gautreaux 6:00
maybe? Maybe?

Shannon M. 6:04
How many times did they say it takes to make a habit or

Christine Gautreaux 6:07
write? Really well, with our topic today? You want to tell our listeners what we’re talking about?

Shannon M. 6:13
Absolutely. So let me pull it up. Excuse me, guys for not having it. But I want to make sure that I get all the details that we put into it. We were very intentional about how we described it.

Christine Gautreaux 6:26
I can do it if you need me to.

Shannon M. 6:29
If you have it pulled up or if not? I will.

Christine Gautreaux 6:32
Second I got you. We have been working diligently y’all on this upcoming virtual conference. That is next week. So if we feel a little offer game this week, I think we may be. So today we’re talking about emotional and mental wellness. Emotional mental wellness is about being aware and intentional of our feelings in all situations. It includes having the capacity and tools to handle and express these emotions in a healthy manner. And the ability to learn and grow from experience. emotional wellbeing, encourages autonomy, useful decision making skills, and striving towards good mental health. Well, it’s good stuff.

Shannon M. 7:17
Yes. And recently, I’ve been really grateful, you know, for both my physical health in the emotional and mental health, you know, being able to still find peace of mind, in the midst of everything that’s going on, then I have conversations with people that I’ve realized, like, wow, peace of mind is something that I really used to pray for all the time, like, I need to be able to relax somewhere, you know. So to be able to find that space within my own healthy mental environment that I’ve been working on setting up has been really good.

Christine Gautreaux 7:50
Well, and what I love about part of what you just said about that, my friend is in the midst of everything, because I found it’s often easy to have emotional and mental wellness when things are going great. Like when or we’ve got extra time or, you know, we get to go to the woods like I mean, that’s that is definitely my happy spot and but being able to have it in the midst of everything when we are kicking it right. And today, our guests like I’m I’m excited to share our guests with you all our listeners, because when I was reading the definition, I was like, Oh, this is everything she does and talks about. So yeah, should we go ahead and introduce our guest? Absolutely. All right. All right, y’all. So Laurel Anne Stark is an acclaimed business consultant, a multiple Entrepreneur of the Year nominee, and founder of resurge research, Joe, I’m hoping I’m saying that right app, a longtime mental health advocate. Laurel is passionate about creating a world where entrepreneurial women thrive in business life and everywhere in between. She’s talking our language, isn’t she? In 2019, she founded research Joe app, the only technology designed to support entrepreneurial women. She shares we do it all. And now there’s a tool that does it too. And I want to add on to her bio that she is a best selling Amazon Author, as she is one of our authors in the women connected and wisdom book. Yes. Hey.

Laurel Anne Stark 9:28
Thanks so much for having me. Christine. Shannon, it’s amazing to be here. And it was great to join you on the best selling Amazon Seller List. What an honor. Thank you.

Christine Gautreaux 9:36
How fun was that?

Laurel Anne Stark 9:39
It was great because we got to do together. You know, such a blast. Yeah,

Christine Gautreaux 9:41
absolutely. We really love the work you do in the world because it really is alongside of what we do about connecting women supporting women. The whole fact that we don’t have to do it by ourselves, right. Would you tell folks about the app and make sure I’m pronouncing it right so we give it right wrist?

Laurel Anne Stark 10:00
Joe? Well, I’m actually trying to sort of the same debate that’s up in the world about gift versus Jeff. It’s a hotly debated issue. So we’re just going to leave it up to everyone’s interpretation. If you want to call it research, Joe or Sir Go up to you, people how to speak, you know. So researcher Technologies is a company that helps ambitious women do well. And our online app provides support, structure, encouragement, and connections that every self employed woman needs in order to succeed without sacrificing their well being. So right now, we have basically, an ecosystem of up to 10 features that will help women no matter where they’re at, we have an odds of success quiz, which will basically rate you between two different numbers. One is proceed directly to the hospital, do not pass go do not collect $200. And the other one is you’re doing so well, I would like to, you know, sit down and pick your brain. And that just kind of helps women who are just starting out in their businesses understand some of the risks that they might be exposed to, and how to increase their odds of succeeding business. Because as we know, the failure rates really, really high. And we don’t want that we want more women succeeding out there. So with that personal success number, you get a plan that our program advisor will help create with you in terms of how to make that number, you know, improve a little bit that we pair you with an accountability partner. And we have weekly mastermind sessions and weekly co working sessions so we can work on work that matters, and then actually set aside focus time to actually do it. And we do it all together since let easier. And then we also have regular workshops, and personal and professional development sessions, we’ve got a 24/7 access to Group Chat, where you can connect with all the other women in the community, we are providing one on one support sessions with our registered clinical nurse, we’ve got a place for self promotion, you can also do workshops and promote your your products and services in our app as well. And basically, it’s about plugging into a group of women who get it.

Christine Gautreaux 11:49
Right. I love this so much for so many reasons. You know, when people look at our lives as entrepreneurs or solopreneurs, or, and I think I read this in something you wrote, or we’re talking about Laurel, and about, like, often, it’s easy to assume that we have, I mean, and we do and a lot of waves have really incredible lives, right? Because they see our Instagram version of our life. They see they see our promotion for our businesses, they see what’s going on. And to realize behind all of that is a whole person that that it can get lonely sometimes when you are doing this kind of work. Yeah, so would you speak a little to that? Oh, Shannon, did you want to say something? You came off mute?

Shannon M. 12:38
No, no, you’re no, you’re fine. I would love to hear what she has to say about it first.

Laurel Anne Stark 12:43
Sure. Yeah, there’s two things I love to say about that. One is just because we carry it well, doesn’t mean it’s not heavy. You know, like, every woman I know, is just absolutely incredible. You know, I think there’s a joke about it on the internet somewhere about you know, we remember everyone’s birthdays, we, you know, try to make it to yoga. Like we’re doing all the things and wearing all the hats and juggling all the things. And realistically, we’re the backbone of the economy. And we’re the backbone of childcare. And you know, our free labor goes into holding a lot of institutions. And as a group, we’re underpaid and undervalued. And I think that’s one of the things that I’m seeking to solve for is to provide support for the support system for the rest of the world, right. Like, we often our needs get backburner because we’re taking care of everyone else. And I think that it is really important to bring up what we see online is not true. There’s a part of the keynote we’re going to talk about a little bit later. But there’s a part that I talked about, you know, what you don’t see on my, on my LinkedIn profile, you know, and a lot of women, like women have that list. What you’re not seeing is like the crying that under the bed, the Oh, no, I forgot to do laundry, and I don’t have any clean socks for this meeting like this. The real life stuff, the messy relationships, the self doubt, the body image stuff, you know, if we don’t know society, it’s not very kind to women and not very respectful, not very supportive. And that’s an unfortunate reality.

Christine Gautreaux 14:02
Can I just say, the thing about one of the gifts of the pandemic, is it if we ran out of socks, nobody had to know. Because we did so much off. I mean, there were some really big gifts that came out of the pandemic. And what I loved is like that you have your zoom clothes now, right? The trick is now that we’re getting back out in the world, remembering how to professionally dress when it’s not just this box.

Laurel Anne Stark 14:32
Exactly, yeah. Yeah, or like spilling coffee in the shower and then quickly turning it around. Just skills we didn’t know we needed.

Christine Gautreaux 14:41
Right at the beginning of the pandemic, I was doing some work with one of the other authors in the book shade and IV and we were doing teaching folks how to really utilize zoom as speakers and entrepreneurs. And one of our pro tips was always to have a wardrobe like have a scarf or something on your so if you win In you spilled coffee. Just build. Just plan on it.

Shannon M. 15:07
Expect room, you know. And that’s one thing I love about your one, the fact that is research base always appreciate research base knowing not only why it works the way that it does, but hey, we thought this would work, we actually need to change it to this to be more effective is so important, right? But I love the intentional resources for business, because like we talked about the failure rate is so high. That’s one thing I’m passionate about about, hey, do your systems actually work? Do you do it every time? That’s something we all have to have opportunities to work in the discipline of right. But then while you do that, you’re gonna need some help, because of my drive you crazy a little bit? Again, when you realize that three things is going to take you 18 steps to do I finally get it now what we’ve been talking about the past few weeks about taking stuff off the to do this.

Laurel Anne Stark 15:57
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think that, you know, we operate based on the premise that you don’t have to choose between your success and your health. And that that notion that you have to sacrifice, and put your well being on the backburner is so outdated. And we’re just say that

Christine Gautreaux 16:11
again, for all the listeners in the back, would love to

Laurel Anne Stark 16:15
thank you. We don’t believe in choosing between our success and our health. We believe it’s an outdated and ineffective approach.

Christine Gautreaux 16:22
Thank you. Yeah, thank you, I can’t tell you how many women’s stories I have heard and collected over the years about the crash, you know, and I have one myself, and it’s like, trying to do it all trying to work in that support their families and be caregivers and, you know, show up for everybody in their community, like the list just goes on and on. And they sacrifice their health. And that was the turning point. And I love that we’re having new conversations about, we don’t have to get there, we don’t have to get to that point, you can have success. without sacrifice. I love that.

Shannon M. 17:03
But I also love the fact that, hey, you’re not crazy for thinking all the all of this is a lot, you know, when we have to, when we want to especially show up a certain way, I don’t want to feel like I’m five places and not meeting the requirements anywhere. Because I’m so many places and I still have to be those places, you know, like that will take any emotional and mental toll on you when you think about it a certain way. Or when you don’t have the support system to really plug and play stuff. If I didn’t have Christine, the book behind her conference, all this stuff, it would be we would not be here yet, you know, so you need the team to be able to say, Hey, what are we doing this week? Or, Hey, you’re doing a great job. And that encouragement part is great, too.

Laurel Anne Stark 17:42
Yeah, and I love that you said that part about not thinking that you’re crazy. And a big part of the research that I find it really interesting how many women don’t know things like the fact that only 30% of medical studies are done on women’s bodies, just as an example, right? So we live in, even though it’s 2022, we still live in a man’s world, it’s built by men, that women aren’t in leadership roles, like technologies and tested on women’s bodies. So a lot of the things that we experience, we tend to internalize and shame ourselves as not being good enough. But really, we just work in a system that isn’t geared towards us. And so that’s what we’re trying to create at researcher technologies is systems and tools and processes and supports that are built for women based on women’s lived experience. And Christine, you were mentioning about all the different roles that that we have, right like, gotta bring home the money in the end, make that income and then taking care of children and elders, etc. And there’s also the third what they call the third shift, which is being professionally pretty, like most men can like, clean themselves with bar soap and roll up on Zoom five minutes later. And if we do that we get asked if we’re tired, or what’s wrong or sick, you know, or like or competencies questioned. And so you know, the beauty labor that takes a lot of time and money and often women don’t consider how you could get yourself a degree for that same time that type of effort requires self brand new car, but we have to put it into like our skincare Shannon knows.

Shannon M. 19:10
So it’s so important and no it’s okay so let’s talk about it right let’s talk about the beauty labor for a second and then I want to go into some specific data. Let’s talk about some numbers on the research and talk about the women in business and emotional but when we talk about beauty labor, we have we have an economic option right you have the little briefcase is clear with the different slots for the nail polish and I filled it out had the press on nails $80 Right you have your whole set and you can do your nails for months $80 You too, right? It took me six hours to do my nails one day I missed them up. So this is not helping me rest. I’ve stressed trying to do this on brain okay, like they would have been done had I went to go get it done right. But if I go get it done now it’s more money to do that. So was a little bit less time I rest Morgul massage on massage chair. So I count that as part of my massage budget, right. But I go pamper myself, so I don’t have to spend my six hours. But it takes a lot. And that’s just the nails looking a certain way, you know? And of course there’s going to be $80 or more every time instead of that one time charge, and then you get to figure out your press on nails after that. Yeah,

Laurel Anne Stark 20:26
yeah. And that’s just the beginning. So there’s a stats say that your average corporate woman living in the States will spend $250,000 on beauty stuff in her lifetime. Have an hour a day.

Christine Gautreaux 20:39
That’s a house? Yeah. But at least I was somewhere.

Shannon M. 20:47
Like, driving a car. Hey, no, and this is my thing, though. Like, I don’t even want it to be the house, I want it. I want to pay the down payment. And then my real estate investments make it so that somebody else is living expenses is helping me pay for mine, you know, but if my $250,000 is tied up in my hair, then of course, I guess I’ll keep continue to rent, you know, and then this is what happens. And then it affects all the other dimensions.

Laurel Anne Stark 21:14
Yeah, exactly. And you think about the cost of it, too, like, this is the cost of time, the cost of money and all that. So that’s just stuff that’s expected. So I always just want to point out to women, like, you know, we’re starting behind the eight ball and all these ways, and like, if you feel like there isn’t enough time in the day, you know, it’s because you’re doing three jobs and getting paid for three quarters one, that’s fast. It’s not my opinion, it’s facts. I’ve got a 200 page research report to, to point you to all my sources. And I find when I tell them and that they start to soften and go, it’s not just me really catch their breath of it?

Christine Gautreaux 21:48
Well, I think and I love that you say that it’s not just me, because I think women do when they start to feel behind or when they start to feel like they can’t keep up or it’s too much that it’s them that if they only did it this way, or did it better? And the reality is, it’s too much. There’s just too much period. And so how do we rebalance that? And, and I know, you know, our philosophy and right along with yours is that we don’t have to do it by ourselves. And that’s one of the keys right?

Shannon M. 22:18
Go ahead and share and what I love about and I know we keep talking about the app and all the different things, but there’s, like you said 10 different parts that you can look at, right? So many different resources. I love the accountability part. And that is it reminds me of our wisdom and action. Right? So okay, you have this information. How are you applying it? And I know accountability is uncomfortable. But it’s been great for me to be able to say, Hey, this is what I was going to do. And yes, I did it. Yes, I did it or No, I didn’t. And even if it’s not about the other person being there, it’s me saying out loud to myself, Hey, you said you were going to do this, you know, are you going to do it? Are you not? And not in a place of shame. But just like when I wanted to eat the to lose the weight, and I was still eating the fries? And you said you were going to be healthy this week? We started next week again? Or when are we going to decide that enough is enough? And I’m going to be dedicated to myself to do what it takes to be intentionally well.

Laurel Anne Stark 23:11
Yeah, I love that. I love her. It’s, um, we always so we’ve got a, like a training plan to help people with how to do accountability calls, and how to short for the partner and hardship for themselves. Because we find that, you know, there’s kind of two types of women, there’s the woman who likes to talk a lot, and there’s the quiet one. And the quiet one never gets to talk unless you say like, Hey, we’re setting a timer. It’s like half, we got to split the time, you know. But one of the things we say is if you didn’t get the thing done that you wanted to get done, and like would you learn, like what happened there? Not about a shame thing, but like, what happened there? And how can you learn from it next week?

Shannon M. 23:46
That’s so good. It’s so good. Because even this, was it this past? Was this past week, just learn that right? Learn that for my personal schedule and the schedule at my job. What is realistic to even put on the list in a certain amount of time? You know, so is it sometimes it’s, Hey, I’m not, let’s just use practical actual examples, right? Maybe I’m not writing my speech for the conference, because I’m nervous about what to say, and I want it to be perfect, right? Or maybe I just don’t feel like I have the tools. Maybe I need to body double, right, what is it? Or maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed because of all the tests I have, not because the tests are hard or because I feel like I should not be doing some of the stuff that I’m doing. But it’s just not realistic to do it in this amount of time because of the capacity. And I think looking at those things, especially when somebody really helps you figure it out.

Christine Gautreaux 24:42
I love that because I think one of the things I learned pretty early on in our mastermind journey is how often I put other people’s work in task ahead of my own. Because there were you know, several times I’d show up it’d be like Oh wait, that was on my list last week, what I do instead, and really started to see a pattern of how I put myself last, and often even my business last, when other people’s needs popped up, which I know is not uncommon. And, but it was it took community, like it took community to really recognize that and a community of women, because, you know, a lot of the people who were benefiting from that weren’t in that community. And they weren’t gonna tell me, you know, they weren’t gonna say, hey, so I think that’s the other power of masterminds and community and gathering together with with accountability buddies.

Laurel Anne Stark 25:41
Oh, yeah. And I think also, too, when we’re not doing well, we sometimes can think that it’s always been this way. And it’s always going to be this way. We forgot that it’s like, you know, it’s usually about three days a month, or you don’t I mean, every Friday, I sort of feel a little tired and to have people to reflect that back to you. And I think that’s one of the things that was kind of we lost through the pandemic, and that face to face connection is someone who’s just kind of looking into, hey, you’re looking a little, like, are you okay? Like, how long have you had the cough or, you know, things like that. And I think it’s so important. Historically, women have worked in community, and it’s just fairly recently, everybody’s been isolated in front of their computers like this. So I think it’s really we’re reclaiming, like a forgotten practice, you know?

Shannon M. 26:20
So can we go more into that and more into the numbers and the things that you guys have put together to make sure that in the weaknesses of the gaps that you see, research helps us feel those?

Laurel Anne Stark 26:33
Oh, God, I would love to, I love it number second. So we’re looking at solving three out of the four major obstacles that are in the way of women succeeding and growing and scaling their businesses at the rates of men. So if we were supported enough, we would be able to generate an extra $12 trillion and contribute that to the global economy. That’s roughly $40,000 per woman per year. So if we were supported effectively, so that’s the potential that we’re looking at. So the three problems we seek to solve are overwhelm, stress and isolation. Because what those three things have in common is they both affect your personal life, and they affect your business life. And like I said, before, we’re not about to choose one or the other, we’re not about to silo it, we’re not about to pretend that for women, business isn’t deeply personal, because it absolutely is. So women are for whatever reason, we are affected by isolation more than our male counterparts. And so it affects us from like a depression anxiety standpoint. And it also affects our ability to run our businesses because, you know, your your business relies on your community, it relies on your connections. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. So we we kill the isolation they and we do it with in a way that supports introverts and extroverts. That’s why we have the one on one accountability partner, if you’re not great in front of crowds, or groups of people. That’s why we also have the one on one support with our licensed practical nurse. Like if you’re having a really bad day, you can call her and book an appointment. And then we provide that sort of larger group. Those sessions with masterminding and co working, so you can just kind of plug in. And then for folks who don’t like zoom, and they just want to do it online that can do it just in the tool itself. So that’s how we combat isolation. And in terms of like, how do we get it all done, we find that if we are doing it together, we do it faster, we do it better. We do and it’s more fun, and it’s better for us. So that’s the one piece in terms of the stress resiliency. Again, working together, body doubling, it really helps people focus, especially those who have either are diagnosed with AD ADHD or have ADHD sort of tendencies, or even are just finding since the pandemic that they’re having a hard time focusing. So what that does is it helps you prioritize, we help you prioritize help you focus and get the work done that really needs to get done. So that sort of tackles the stress resiliency piece, we are working on an algorithm which would help automate our self care. But that’s kind of a future thing. Yeah, AI is a little bit expensive. So we are working on that. And then in terms of overwhelm, we have a practice, called the Get It Done game. And we help folks basically prioritize your tasks based on three phases. So do a brain dump. And you can do this on paper, too. I would just love to have this built as sort of a game within the app. So you bring up everything you have to do. And then you just basically swipe as if you’re on Tinder. And you say yes, no, yes. No. And the question is, is this a now thing? Do you have to get this done now? Or is this a later thing? You just go now later now later now later, no later than once you have your list of now’s you set a timer and you start working on it. And just using that practice can really eliminate a lot of the distractions but ultimately, it really does come down to doing it, you know, with other women because we’re all sitting there going oh, yeah, no, why do you get distracted by laundry you know, your dog so cute, and it just makes it a lot more fun.

Shannon M. 29:38
I love that. So I like that because there’s time that I put in my schedule that plan the schedule, right? But if in that time I also knew I’m gonna get some stuff done. I probably feel really good about that and that okay, I’m already had I’ve already started knocking stuff out. I like to

Laurel Anne Stark 29:53
Yeah, exactly.

Christine Gautreaux 29:55
I love anytime we can gamify something like any time like They just tickled me because like, I mean, Laurel and I’ve been off the dating market for 28 years now. So getting to play a game that’s like Tinder would be fun. Because I do it for my single friends. Like, yes, no, yes.

Shannon M. 30:11
No. I have never been on it. So I think it’s left to right. I don’t know how to play.

Laurel Anne Stark 30:19
I think left is no I’ve ever been on either, but I think left is no and right is yes. Okay. This is what that’s what I’m told.

Christine Gautreaux 30:27
To do. To Do List. I love that.

Laurel Anne Stark 30:30
Yeah. So that’s in development. It’s not done yet. We’re only Gosh, we’ve only launched about five months ago. And so what we have set up right now is our our founding members community, and a lot of the technologies in the works, we’ve got the algorithms built. But you know, building an app is not something you can do overnight. And it does cost quite a lot. And we’re bootstrapped. So it’s taken a bit of time, right. Yeah.

Shannon M. 30:52
And while you’re on especially because we’re talking about entrepreneurs, right, we’re talking about women and mental and emotional wellness, part of what I want to just get more specific about is why it’s so much easier, just the business part, specifically, right. And we talk about Cashflow Quadrant says one of my favorite tools and a book that helped me figure out business and what’s going on, right. But when you’re moving from being an employee, and somebody giving you all the systems to you building that systems and trying to put together the right teams, figure out the cash flow, figure out the legal, and you have your part that you were amazing at, and the part that you have weaknesses, and that’s natural in any human now you have the opportunity to build a team. And there’s another strength that you’re going to need or another team member with a strength that you’re going to need this a lot, you know, with communication and life happening and organization and being set up with the right information in the right time prioritizing your steps, right, to not have self sabotaging habits. And it’s a lot you know, so I just wanted to make sure that we specifically gave space for that. Because what I see is that when women are going through stuff, we feel bad for even saying it once. You know I have a right to say, Hey, this is what’s going on. And I’m not complaining about I’m not if it’s done in a healthy way. It shouldn’t be an emotional dump, you know, but this is what’s going on. And yeah, all those all those things are on the list when you’re trying to build a business and run a family and, and make sure that you look put together when you walk out the door at the same time.

Laurel Anne Stark 32:23
Yeah, sure. And I’m so glad you brought it up. And that’s like, the reason I started research Oh, so I came across this article in 2015, or 2016, was a research report out of Berkeley University that stated that entrepreneurs are affected by drugs are directly affected by mental illness at a rate three times the global average. So this is pre pandemic. And the stats said that basically like one in four people were affected by mental illness. So Dr. Michael Freeman out of Berkeley who did this study, basically said entrepreneurs, the Raiders, about 72% of us are directly affected by mental illness. So when I saw that number, like my head fell off, I was like, oh my god, it explains so much. And I was digging deep into his research report. And I was seeing my behavior and the behavior of my female clients. In the in the report, he was talking about the prevalence of hypomania, which is the high highs and the low lows that entrepreneurs talk about all the time, the entrepreneurial rollercoaster, and it’s actually biological. And I was so fascinated by it, I reached out to him, and I asked him, Hey, can I chat with you, and you still kind and he took a call with me. And I asked him like, Well, what do we need? If we’re suffering to this degree? What do we need? And he’s a consummate scholar. And he’s like, you know, we’re working on it get back to me for years, we have to do some more research, right. And it was like four years, that’s a lot. Like that’s really a lot of time, especially around them. Like Anthony Bourdain killed himself, and Kate Spade killed herself and the founder of Reddit, he killed himself. And we’re starting to see people who are like, absolutely brilliant, changing the world and they don’t have they’re just suffering, you know, they’re suffering. So I was really concerned, and I started looking to the research more, and then the metoo movement happened. And then I was like, Oh, my gosh, what if you’re experiencing drug like mental health problems, three out of four of us are experiencing mental health problems, and now we’re getting harassed online or at work. And then in Canada, the wage gap issue came out from Maclean’s magazine, and it said that Self Employed Women in Canada, if you’re white, and able bodied, you’re getting paid 72 cents on the dollar. If you are a woman of color, bipoc, indigenous or disabled, that can go as low as 42 cents on the dollar. So now you are suffering from mental health problems, you are getting harassed online or at work, and you’re getting paid up to like about half of what a white man is getting paid. And I thought, well, what if you will get one woman and all that stuff’s being stacked up on her? Like, how well is she going to be doing? Not very well at all? And then I started to research is there is there mental health support specifically for entrepreneurs and there was nothing at the time, and I was like, Shit, I gotta get on this. You know, as an entrepreneur. I’m like, Well, I gotta fix this. So that’s where the research report came from. So it’s called the state of female entrepreneur mental health. We looked at over 200 Different studies, everything from peer reviewed science to informal web polls, and we looked at it through the lens of the suicide risk assessment model. So basically, that looks at like what Your risks and what are your protective factors? And we looked at one of the risks of being an entrepreneur, what are the risks of being a female? And then what are the risks of being a female entrepreneur. And we really want women to know, the some of the obstacles that they’re up against, because like has been shared already, we internalize this stuff, we think that it’s just us. And we’re not good enough. But the reality is that we are outperforming our male counterparts three to one, if you look at our workload, the resources that we have, and how the system is set up, not to support us. So that’s why that’s why researchers here is I believe that entrepreneurial women need specific support based on their life experience, based on the fact that most of us have left corporate jobs because, you know, we can’t make the money that we need to make, we don’t have the flexibility that we need, we’re not being appreciated. And ultimately, a lot of these places aren’t making the same impact that we want to be making in the world.

Christine Gautreaux 35:53
I love that. I love that you heard for years, and you thought, No way. Nobody’s got time for that. Right.

Shannon M. 36:03
And that’s what that’s what business is, right? You see a problem. And there’s a solution. And I love that you’ve created a business out of it. I love that you’ve created an app and a tool that we can down here, you’re in Canada, we’re down here in Atlanta, we can stretch across the continent and get this thing taken care of. But especially because like you said $12 trillion, right? What we know as business owners is that it’s not a negative thing, when you have to start paying somebody to do their work, right as a solopreneur. It’s me, baby, I got it. Okay, like, I can do as much as I can. But when we start growing this team, like we talked about growing the systems, somebody’s gonna have to get paid for it. You have to pay us now. That’s what it is. And it’ll benefit the economy by a minimum of $12 trillion. Because we know that women exceed expectations, and exponentiated things. So let’s see how much you know, it ends up being but because of the way the system is set up, again, we have to do what we have to do. We have to keep working, I’m still going to be who I am, people are still going to be mothers, and we have to continue to improve our health. So thank you for being a solution provider.

Laurel Anne Stark 37:10
Thank you so much. I honestly didn’t really feel like I had much of a choice. I was looking around and I’m like, I’m a university dropout. Like I don’t know why I’m the one trying to solve this problem. And no one else’s, but okay. Yeah. Challenge accepted.

Shannon M. 37:21
Yeah. Challenge accepted.

Christine Gautreaux 37:23
Right? Well, because you are an entrepreneur, and you know, the needs of it. I mean, that statistic is just, it’s not surprising to me, but it’s so shocking. Right, that it I mean, it makes sense. And I’m so glad to have tools that support like, I know, tech often gets a bad rap. You know, like sometimes they’ll even come out of my mouth like, like, ah, you know, these kids, and they just need to get off their devices. And, and I love tech. I mean, anybody that listens to the show notes, like I love the newest thing, or like what’s the what are we doing? And I just feel like this app is incredible. What an incredible way to use tech to support mental health to support women to support business. Like, I don’t just well done Laurel and well done.

Laurel Anne Stark 38:19
Oh, gosh, you can make me blush. Appreciate.

Shannon M. 38:23
Yes, yes. And I was. So that’s why another reason I was so excited for you to be one of our authors. So we’re in Canada, like she’s on the list is going to be great. She’s on the team. So excited to have you part of it.

Christine Gautreaux 38:37
And now coming up next week, we have the women connecting wisdom virtual conference, and you are one of our speakers. Do you want to tell folks what you’re going to be speaking about and how they can hear more about you? And yes,

Laurel Anne Stark 38:50
I would love to Okay, so really, really super excited to present on the busy woman’s guide to better mental health how to feel better without doing more. And basically this is for any woman who feels jammed up like her calendar does not have any space in it and would like to feel a little bit better in our day to day and isn’t looking for someone to tell her how she needs to be doing things differently or better.

Christine Gautreaux 39:12
Oh my gosh. Do you

Shannon M. 39:19
want me to drink water? I swear. I tell people to drink water all the time.

Christine Gautreaux 39:29
It is a good tip. It is a good tip. You saying that Laurel and I was a conference Weaver years ago and and my thing is always to take a deep breath and to keep breathing. And and I remember in the culture has since changed at this organization. But I was one of the forefront embodied people at that organization. And so it was my job to help leave the conference and remind people to breathe. And I remember one of the elders of the community I walked past Esther and I heard her saying, you know, she did that side mouth thing. She was like, if she tells me to breathe one more time, I’m gonna lose it. And now it’s so much a part of the culture that everybody’s teaching everybody else how to breathe. But I had a, I had an allergy attack this weekend, and I coached myself through it. And one of the things I just kept saying is just just take a deep breath, you’ve got this, just relax. And so some of those things that annoy us are the very things we need some time. Right?

Laurel Anne Stark 40:31
Oh, gosh, yeah. 100% I think I meant it more in the context of like, if we’re telling women to, you know, meditate and drink water and breathe and relax, and we’re telling them, telling them that without pointing out the systemic stuff that’s in our way, it’s almost like it’s gaslighting. Yeah. And I feel like that’s the piece that we keep pushing forward is like, yeah, breathe and drink water and do your best, but like, just so you know, there’s a million obstacles set up in front of you that potentially you aren’t even seeing that are sabotaging you. And like anyone would feel, you know, as bad as you do. Given the circumstances. It reminds me of a I consume a lot of memes online, but it reminds me of a meme that I saw. And it’s a picture of a forest and it’s been completely cut down. And there’s a koala cling to a stump. And there’s a doctrine that says he’s got a mental illness. And it’s just kind of I feel like that’s the sort of vibe that we’re that we’re going with.

Shannon M. 41:21
Right, so true. Yeah.

Christine Gautreaux 41:25
Well, I was just thinking, I love I love the Yes. And and the reality of it and having the conversations because that’s what we’re about. And when we connect, it was like, yes, and let’s talk about the systemic, right. Let’s talk about those barriers. And I’m so excited that you’re one of our speakers. So for those of y’all that are listening, we Laurel Anna speaking on day three, she’s going to be speaking in 1115. Eastern time. And that’s at the women connected and wisdom virtual conference, if you haven’t gotten your tickets, yet, there are still some available. And we will put that link in our show notes. Or you can also just go to women connected in And it will take you right there. And to come here, her and 18 other amazing women tell their stories and give you resources that you can use as you walk out, like this is not going to be a fluff conference, this, it’s gonna be fun, it’s gonna be engaging, and it’s gone. I’m stoked, because I know almost all these women and I still know I’m gonna learn something from every session. So I am really looking forward to, to what’s about to happen.

Shannon M. 42:35
Yeah, and we’re gonna have recordings, but I think about like, how long is it going to take me to listen to all the recordings if I don’t go you know, so if you can get the recordings and you don’t have time, then of course, you know, we have the recordings for you, we have the VIP option for you get some of those, those resources specifically to you to your door. But if you can make it I definitely want to be on listen to Laura and start live and get some of those resources that day from our speakers. Okay, so Laurel, and we’ve been talking about emotional mental wellness this week, what is your wisdom and action?

Laurel Anne Stark 43:12
I think the most effective thing for this week would be looking at your list of things that you feel like you got to do. What can you delete, defer or delegates? Three DS. Right. I think that a lot of times we put things on our list, I’ll speak for myself, I put things on my list that I have no business putting on my list, I put down some times that I should be a vegan. And like, that’s not gonna happen. Honestly, it’s not but my brain just wants me to write it down. And so I write it down. But it doesn’t mean I have to action it. And a lot of times, things just take care of themselves. You don’t need to do them anymore. Or you can just say, you know, I’m not doing that, or give it to someone else to do.

Christine Gautreaux 43:47
I love you so much. I love that your brain writes down that you need to be a vegan, and that you’re like yeah, I can I can just let that one go. Yeah.

Shannon M. 44:02
No, but I love that you said that especially at the end of the episode because sometimes and especially as women who make plans, we write our goals down right we bring things to fruition because we put action behind what we believe. So the brain says it Yeah, I’m gonna write it down. And you know what? It’s a real No, I’m gonna be honest and authentic. Like I know this is not going to happen. So it’s necessary it’s necessary. Okay.

Christine Gautreaux 44:26
In those three days with us I say I need to delegate thank you as I build these seems like such a gift right? All right, wisdom in action, my friend what you do.

Shannon M. 44:39
Hashtag now later, she said, What do you need to do right now? What needs to be done later? Yeah, yeah,

Christine Gautreaux 44:47
we’d love that.

Shannon M. 44:49
What about for you?

Christine Gautreaux 44:50
For me? I think I’m gonna go with my keep breathing because you know, we’ve got this conference coming up. We have a big event and for me sometime What happens is I forget to breathe because there’s so much going on. And it’s like, I’m gonna keep breathing. And can you also there was something else you said, LauraLee, and that I want to stick or have be part of my wisdom and action. And how did you say it? You said, we don’t have to sacrifice our success for our ship personal life or your health?

Shannon M. 45:23
You don’t have to choose you don’t mean your shoulders exist and your health? Yeah, we don’t really don’t believe

Laurel Anne Stark 45:27
in choosing between our success and our health. That’s outdated and ineffective approach.

Christine Gautreaux 45:31
I love that so much. Absolutely. I don’t know how to hashtag that. But I love that so much.

Shannon M. 45:38
And I think you do hashtag it, though, Christine. I think that’s what still point is, you know, still points throughout everything. That’s how we keep it sustainable.

Christine Gautreaux 45:46
is absolutely true. Well, literally, I’m you had said for our listeners, which was this was so generous, but you had said that you were willing to give them 30 days free on the research Joe app. And so we’re gonna put that in our show notes. It’s, if you’re watching live right now, it’s scrolling across the bottom of the screen how you access that? And we’ll also put it in the show notes. Because what a gift to check this out and have the support. I can’t wait. Right. Now Laurel, and we love books. Do you have any books you’re currently reading that we need to know about? Or that our listeners need to know about? Anything that you would recommend?

Laurel Anne Stark 46:25
Yeah, gosh, there’s so many if you haven’t read women who run with the wolves, but the last item is it’s a classic. Yeah, I also think the beauty myth super, it’s a must. It’s classic. For a fiction, the red tent.

Christine Gautreaux 46:39
Yeah. Oh, my gosh, I love your reading list. Absolutely, sir.

Laurel Anne Stark 46:43
Dense. They’re like, you know, they’re not fluff books. But I think that every woman should try to get through them one at one point in your life.

Christine Gautreaux 46:50
All right now, is your first book still available for purchase?

Laurel Anne Stark 46:53
Yes. Is it for purchase? Yeah, I think so. It was a long time ago. It was a really long time ago. I’m not even that woman anymore. But yeah. And that was social and 17 minutes. Is that right? Yeah, social and 17. How to be successful on social media and just 17 minutes a day. It’s out there somewhere. I don’t know. I was like, 12 years ago, back when people call me the social media girl. So Right. offer for free on my site. You can get it okay. for free? Yeah,

Christine Gautreaux 47:17
we’ll put a link to it. That’s awesome. Is there anything else you want to share with our listeners, anything else they need to know or anything you have coming up that they can join your app? Yeah, definitely.

Laurel Anne Stark 47:27
So if you’re interested in the data and the sources behind some of the things that I’ve been talking about, because I definitely went back at my sources, you can go to Research O dot app slash research. And you can download the state of female entrepreneur mental health and look at some of our other research. We’re always doing research on women in business. And that’s where you can grab it. That’s totally free. I would definitely love to see you folks at the conference coming up. I will be speaking on the 27th so excited about that. If you want to grab your free 30 days of research, Joe, please you ever Sergio dot app slash 30 days, your code is WC w 22. So that is your code to get 30 days free. I’ll put that on the website as well. And that’ll go in the show notes.

Christine Gautreaux 48:09
Perfect. Yeah, thank you so much for being here. We’re excited you’re here this week and we get to see you next week too. And just so proud to be connected to you and thank you for being in our book and being part of the conference and just being part of women connected and wisdom it’s grateful

Laurel Anne Stark 48:27
honestly such a pleasure such an honor I love the work you’re both doing in the world it’s like we are totally on the same page here it’s women empowering women when connecting with women and together will change the world and that’s exactly what we’re doing

Christine Gautreaux 48:41
to see you next week. Oh my goodness.

Shannon M. 48:46
We talked about it this is what we talked about we were on your porch we said we want women to we do not know right now doing amazing things so Laura and and it’s not like we’ve been talking about you for like a year you know putting this stuff together for years. You’re right we are at nine right now I’m turning 90 next week guys.

Christine Gautreaux 49:05
And literally I’m came to us through Dr. Cynthia felt to our listeners who are longtime listeners have heard her a couple of times for men are and just the power of that right? The power of okay, what are you doing over here? What are you doing over here? Let’s change the world. Alright, let’s not have a little minor goal. Let’s change the world. I

Shannon M. 49:26
don’t have to guess what I don’t have to build an app. That already okay. You get 30 days free. You can start today. My app would not be ready by midnight. So

Christine Gautreaux 49:37
Oh, yes. I love that so much. Yes. Yeah. All right, my friend. Anything else that we need to shout out before we start to wrap?

Shannon M. 49:44
I don’t know if we specifically said on air. What’s in the VIP packs? I know that we’ve hinted at it. We’ve talked about bags boxes, we’ve made some final decisions now and I think I think that people want to know they’re interested they’re interested about when we’re gonna get the books which is right here. And I might have to do that on another live. No, no,

Christine Gautreaux 50:02
no. You can Well, you want to do both or we want to jump on Instagram. What do you want to do?

Shannon M. 50:08
Let’s do both.

Christine Gautreaux 50:09
Okay, let’s do both. Alright.

Shannon M. 50:12
So in our VIP packs, we’re going to have shales oil and set to show you this bottle mine is almost out and I hate get into this point. But you’re gonna get a lemongrass oil and a four ounce. So you’re gonna get a big bottle. In the VIP pack, you’re gonna get Cynthia Dr. Phelps in her ally cards, which is 20 cards right with those different characters that help you be your inner ally and speak to yourself with love and self compassion. And Christine is going to have an offering in there right

Christine Gautreaux 50:43
now or you know, a free 30 minute Interplay focus session for checking in with your body and yourself and figure I mean, we play with all kinds of things. It can be a session where you’re working on an issue, it can be a session where you’re savoring, or celebrating something. So yeah, we’re also putting in a copy of the book, women connected in wisdom. And there might be one or two other surprises in there. But those are some of the big things that are in there. And you get in the VIP package, you get downloads of all the sessions. So in case you can’t meet all of them, you can go back and get the downloads and the transcripts of all the sessions. So

Shannon M. 51:20
a lot of goodies for you guys. Okay, okay, let’s open these packages. Christmas here early. We’re doing guys, we’ve had a couple of our authors opening stuff. Now you guys know that. I have not had my bookshelf. So this stuff came in. And we’ve been working. Let’s see what it is.

Christine Gautreaux 51:38
Depending on who you talk to. Who has been on our show before. Oh, go ahead.

Shannon M. 51:44
Ready? So it was it looked like this. It was like a little thing like this. I opened it up the baby.

Christine Gautreaux 51:51
It’s a baby. Oh, wait, I have something for her. Where do I have no mine. How come in? You know they were arriving today. I have something that you might have over there too. Does she have something that needs to go?

Shannon M. 52:12
Oh, let’s see. This beautiful. Yeah, much guys. Maybe? Yes. Okay. So we got a couple of different packages.

Christine Gautreaux 52:25
Are you gonna save some of it for later or you want to keep going? Okay,

Shannon M. 52:29
save other two for later. We open one of the books. That’s what we’re coming. Let’s see what the other surprises.

Christine Gautreaux 52:36
All right. Yes. Tell our folks.

Shannon M. 52:39
Okay, so if you want to continue to be connected, guys, we’ve been here for 89 episodes. Again, we’ve had a really good time being on podcast. But now we’re moving right? We’re going to be here so we’re not we’re not going to leave. But we’re going to our community, right we’re going to start teaching classes we’re going to get even more connected with the ladies that you know and love. We have the conference coming up. So if you really wouldn’t be plugged in, is you hate that you missed the Facebook comments. You want to be part of the story. You be part of the story part of the show part of the community come to women connected and and we have some tools and resources for you to get plugged into.

Christine Gautreaux 53:14
I love it. Yeah, I as always enjoyed our conversation, my friend.

Shannon M. 53:19
Thank you so much. Me too. Okay, ladies, we’ll see you next week for episode 90. In the meantime, be well, and as crazy be wise, be whole. We’ll see you soon.