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Join Shannon & Christine as they chat about Social Wellness with special guest Sacil Armstrong.
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S3E20 – Physical Wellness with Sacil Armstrong
Connect with Sacil here –
Christine Gautreaux 0:08
Let’s do this.
Shannon M. 0:08
Okay ladies, welcome to our podcast. I am Shannon Mitchell, a black female, millennial entrepreneur, the founder of Shiloh glow, a handmade shea butter company. I am a champion for your self care, business care and intentional wellness.
Christine Gautreaux 0:25
And I am Christine Gautreaux, a white social justice advocate and international speaker, coach and published author who helps you upgrade yourself and community care.
Shannon M. 0:35
Yes. And together, we are women connected in wisdom, a podcast grounded in the eight dimensions of wellness. Welcome, welcome to our show.
Christine Gautreaux 0:44
And we get together every week for intentional conversations about how to be wise in business relationships and our wellness. How do we do it in the midst of juggling everything else? Right? Yes,
Shannon M. 0:56
yes, yes. And we usually wait, but I want to go ahead and jump in. So we can give the time for the full scope of the conversation. And today we’re going to be talking about social wellness. And we’re working off of a new definition, if you ladies are used to listening to our show. And today social wellness we’re going to use is about the ability to nurture ourselves, others and our relationship with healthy and our relationships with healthy boundaries. It includes balancing, right, the other seven dimensions of wellness and actively participating as an interdependent being in the web of life. Love it.
Christine Gautreaux 1:36
When you think about that definition, what do you think about?
Shannon M. 1:40
I think about especially with social wellness is is boundaries, right? I think about teaching people how to treat you, and how do you show up in the situations with other people, you know, if you’re upset, you start talking to people on the side of your neck. That’s what I call it when people are disrespectful. Or do you are you composed and you you know, address it first and then communicate and then take it to a higher level of somebody’s seeming like they don’t understand? What are you? What do you think about when you look at?
Christine Gautreaux 2:08
Well, even when you think about that, I think about that very first part of that definition, the ability to nurture ourselves, then it goes to others. And then it goes to our relationships with healthy boundaries. So I think about that knowing ourselves and nurturing ourselves well enough that we can take that deep breath and and know what we need, right? Aloha. Luca, Luca is listening on LinkedIn this afternoon. Hello, hello. Nice to see you my friend. Yeah, I think about that, I think yes, to the healthy boundaries and apart, you know, we talked to last week or the week before about the five schools of self care and healthy boundaries, and you know, a piece of it is knowing yourself. So you know, what those boundaries are?
Shannon M. 2:55
Yeah, so and, you know, we focus all the time on self care and community care and self care has to be first because if you’re not here, you’re not part of the community. Right? So for me, one of my boundaries on social wellness is not touching my phone. At first, I give that time to myself. And when it’s those days when, let’s say I slept a little bit longer than expected, and that our time for myself is crunched down a little bit more. I feel the difference in the day, you know, things might move me a little bit more than I usually would like them to because I did pour into myself before I started and taking all this other energy from everywhere else. Right.
Christine Gautreaux 3:31
I think that is I think it’s smart. Right? We talk about our wellness routines, we talk about our morning practices as part of our self care, and how we start the day. You know, I’m Our next guest is a friend of ours and has been on the show before. I am curious about her morning practices and in what she’s gonna say about social wellness today. And do you want to go ahead and pull her up early,
Shannon M. 4:05
but that’s okay.
Christine Gautreaux 4:06
So if you have been a longtime listener of our show, our next guest will be no stranger to you. She is been a guest on the podcast. She’s been a guest host on the podcast and we are excited to welcome her back today because she is one of the upcoming authors in the women connected in wisdom book that’s coming out in September.
So we want to welcome Sacil Armstrong. I’m gonna read her bio as we always do.
For our new listeners. Sacil is a self care and social justice facilitator, integrating self care with equity and anti racism training. Her teaching motto is no blame, no shame, no guilt, because those emotions get in the way of learning. She focuses on evidence based techniques and ideas that not only make us feel good, but also increase our mental and image Rational capacity to handle the new normal. She loves music, art and laughter and often dances her way into her trainings to set the mood. See, she’s one of us she’ll, even though change can be hard, she believes we have reason to celebrate showing up to learn as a step towards making a positive change. So SIL is the founder of the online inspired by Indigo community, where members learn how to practice how and practice making equity a habit. So I want to welcome to our stage Sacil Armstrong, our friend and collaborator.
Sacil Armstrong 5:40
I love your new definition for social.
Christine Gautreaux 5:46
Thank you. So I’ve been playing with and tweaking all the definitions as this, as you know, as this new book is coming out. And behind the scenes, we’ve been playing with him for a while. And so now, you know, that our first draft is submitted, and we’re waiting on the editing copies to come back, you’re starting to talk about them on the show. Am for our listeners that listen, we’re also going to start having our authors pop in, to bring them back to talk about a new topic of wellness and what they’re up to. So Sacil, we wanted you to come on today to talk about social wellness, because that’s one of the chapters that you wrote in the upcoming book. And you want to tell everybody what the title of that chapter is?
Sacil Armstrong 6:34
Yeah it’s called making equity a habit, because that’s what I teach.
Christine Gautreaux 6:39
Right? Right, you’re gonna give us a little little teaser into what you talked about in the chapter,
Sacil Armstrong 6:44
I will I’ll give you a little teaser, okay, it’s based on it’s based on my online community really, it’s, it’s about recognizing oppression, where you see it, recognizing the systems that are in place, and then learning what you can do to disrupt things and change things. In inspired by Indigo, we follow four pillars in the community, we discuss four pillars every month. The first one is self care, because you gotta get in your body, and deal with your own emotions before you start talking about the hearts. That’s how you build your capacity to be able to take in information. The second pillar is know your facts, because that’s how you undo myths and lies by knowing Learning the facts and knowing the truth. And then the third pillar is undoing the work, you got to undo what we’ve learned and lived about race, privilege, equality, you know, homophobia, homophobia, xenophobia, all of the ways that we oppress each other, you have to go out and actually do the work. And then the fourth pillar is to rest and celebrate, you know, your rest. So you don’t just get disillusioned and, and burnt out, you know, and then you celebrate so that you remember that you’re actually making progress. If you wait until everything is the way you want it. If you wait until you have that utopia and racism is gone, and nobody’s homophobic and all of that kind of stuff you’re never going to celebrate. So you got to celebrate your wins along the way.
Christine Gautreaux 8:08
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I love that you wanted to write under social wellness, because it really is what you teach, and how you live your life. And what you’re trying to inspire everybody to do over and inspired by Indigo is to make social change. So we’re all Well,
Sacil Armstrong 8:27
exactly, exactly. And when people can see that we’re all interconnected. And that by getting in our own bodies, and calming down our own nervous system, it changes the way we interact with other people. And when you learn how to forgive yourself and see your own humanity, then it allows you to do that for somebody else. And that’s the beginning of that change.
Shannon M. 8:50
And what else I love about it, too, still is the getting in your body part, you know, I for me, the fact that you put those things together can’t be minimized, especially because of the psychological effects of how things over time can affect you, you know, you and I talk on your show, and I was so thankful that you did a video, your first video for the interview where we talked about the situation I talked about last week on our show this, this guy was white guy calling the police on us because we were in an apartment complex where he lived and he thought that we didn’t belong there.
And it helped me feel more comfortable to breathe and be connected to myself and then talk about the situation, you know, remembering that you’re here and you’re taking up space and this person’s opinion doesn’t have to move you unless you allow it to. I think that can help a lot of people when they’re processing things because we have to process it. You know, how do you take on all this information and what do you do with it? You have to deal with it anyway. So to do that from a healthy place. I love that. Yes, people how to do that.
Sacil Armstrong 9:53
Thank you. Yeah, when you called me that was the first thing I asked you and it was like Are you breathing? You were talking? Yeah.
Shannon M. 10:00
because we’re connected in wisdom and I, that’s what I’m so thankful for you ladies, because whether it’s me putting my feet in the grass, like we talked about the first episode, and of course, I still do that, or taking my big, deep belly breaths and giving myself fierce love. Absolutely was doing that throughout the situation.
Sacil Armstrong 10:18
Well I’m glad, because I can imagine how the impact that would have had if you weren’t able to ground yourself in the middle of that.
Shannon M. 10:25
Absolutely. So when you talk about equity, and
Sacil Armstrong 10:30
for our listeners who I feel like a lot of times, we hear a lot of words, and sometimes they can be interchanged. Right? Can we give a specific definition? So we can kind of break down what making a habit looks like?
Yeah, okay, equity is giving everyone an equal opportunity. People like to use equity and equality as interchangeable and they’re not. And actually, the next lesson, the lesson next month for know your facts, and inspired by Indigo was going to be about how equity does not equal equality, they’re not the same.
Equality is about treating everybody the same. It’s when people say things like, I don’t see color, or, you know, I treat everyone the same, I treat everyone fairly, I give everyone the same amount of something. Equity is giving everybody in equal opportunity to succeed. And that means that everybody’s not going to get the same thing.
But they’re going to get what they need in order to be successful in whatever your project is, whether that means one person gets more money than somebody else, or one person gets more attention than somebody else. Everybody gets what they need, so that they can have an equal opportunity for success. Whereas equality, if you’re giving everybody the same thing, you’re moving the starting line, but you’re moving the starting line, the same amount for everyone. So the differences are still there.
Christine Gautreaux 11:42
So that makes beautiful definition.
Shannon M. 11:44
Yeah. And I don’t, and I think it helps when you work with organizations, right, we’ve talked about the list of different groups of people that you’ve helped, I think it helps with the tailored experience for that person. You know, if I was in a community that operated that way, I would feel more seen more equipped, and more set up for success.
Sacil Armstrong 12:05
Yeah, that I mean, that’s the whole point. If you think about how do I get somebody to this endpoint where they’re self sufficient, and they can, you know, do for themselves, they can have the opportunities, then what did I need to give them in the beginning to get there?
Christine Gautreaux 12:22
Well, when you think about what’s going on in our world today, there’s so much a lot. What are you talking to folks about right now, in regards to social wellness? What are you? What’s coming up for you?
Sacil Armstrong 12:37
Oh, I’m talking to a lot of people about a lot of different things. But lately, we’ve been talking a lot about the January 6, committee hearings, that they have revealed a lot of evidence that has not been out in the public before. And what I’m seeing on social media is three different reactions. One reaction is people were like, I knew it, I knew it, and why haven’t they done anything about it yet? And people not understanding the way government works, you know that it takes a long time. And I’m a little frustrated with how slow they go myself.
Christine Gautreaux 13:09
And these hearings are actually an incremental step into ds because the hearings are on record, right?
Sacil Armstrong 13:16
Yeah, the hearings are on record. And Merrick Garland, who’s the Attorney General has said that he’s watching everybody on his staff is watching these hearings to see if there’s evidence that they don’t have already. So this is an incremental step. It’s also a way to get to inform the public and to generate, what do you call it? I don’t know if they’re looking for public outrage, but to get public opinion on their side to move forward court public fora,
Shannon M. 13:40
they go live in
Christine Gautreaux 13:41
a democracy, and yet our elected officials forget sometimes sorry.
Sacil Armstrong 13:47
Yeah, they do. They do sometimes. No, you’re fine. The second reaction that I’m seeing from people that I’m talking to is, oh, my goodness, I had no idea. I knew it was bad. But I didn’t know it was like this.
And then the third reaction that I’m seeing, mostly to people that I’m watching, but not necessarily having conversations with is everything is a lie. Everybody who’s against Trump is a traitor. And I don’t know why anybody is looking at this, and it shouldn’t be on TV in the first place. All right. And so then, so when I’m looking at this and thinking about social wellness, what I noticed is that the people who are on either end on opposite ends, like I knew it, and why aren’t they doing anything? And they’re liars. Neither group seems like they’re in their body. It’s like, this is what I believe this is what I know. And everybody else has to believe this. You know, and I’m, when I’m talking with them. I’m like, can you pause for a minute? Can we just pause and breathe? You know, and then when people stop and take a breath, which I’m going to do right now.
Right. Then they slow down Under speech, you know, their intensity goes down. And then I’m like, Can we can we just talk for a minute? Can you can you listen for just a second? Or, you know what, now that you’ve calmed down a little bit, or now that you’re slowing down a little bit, I can hear you better. Do you want to explain that again? And then will you give me a minute to respond? You know, did y’all feel that energy shift just there when I just think about where?
Christine Gautreaux 15:23
Absolutely, absolutely. Well, and to acknowledge that this is a charged topic? Who Yeah, right. It’s charged for so many reasons. I mean, we women connect in wisdom. And a lot of people don’t know this. But we were set to go live. Our very first show was January.
Shannon M. 15:47
We’re like, No, the algorithm is gonna bury it.
Christine Gautreaux 15:52
We have something major going on that we were in front of the TVs paying attention to what was going on, because we knew it was impact. We knew it was historical, impactful. And Holy guacamole, Batman, what is happening in our democracy. Right, right. Right. And so we didn’t have our first show until the next week. And so that date will stick in our brains for a long time.
Shannon M. 16:15
Definitely. And not only that, I was coming from New Jersey. So we’re driving through Philly, and the Capitol and everything, you know, what I mean, around those days was the end of our trips. So podcast has moved that it moved. And so it was interesting to watch. And I remember the day, they were having a Senate hearing, actually on the radio, and I usually, and not listening to stuff like that was door dashing and was listening. And when they said that he when he used the word patriotic, right, we give definitions on this podcast for a reason, because people’s definitions are different. But when I heard that, I said, it depends on who you’re talking to what that action is, you know, some people’s reaction and expectation when you say, to be patriotic, is exactly what happened.
But again, if we’re talking about equity, for, for an example, I was taking pictures for a business that generates money for the economy, and somebody else was charging the capital, but different people would have different reactions. You know, it was a huge situation over here with me just taking pictures in a place that I was supposed to enable to be, but somebody else was charged in the Capitol and another group of people doesn’t understand why we’re even talking about it. Right?
Christine Gautreaux 17:30
Right. Well, and I want to give the actual definition of patriotic, patriotic is having or expressing devotion to and vigorous support for one’s country. So to have bigger support for one’s country, the United States of America is to defend our democracy. And that’s not what was happening on January 6, as these hearings are showing, that was not in defense of our democracy in any way, shape, or form.
Sacil Armstrong 17:57
Now, that was people who wanted to get their way. And, and since we’re talking about people who want to get their way, this is this, these are group of people who are not used to being told no, we’re not used to who are not used to not getting their way.
And that’s a symptom of white supremacy. You know, because if a if a bunch of black folks showed up, like they had, you know, during the summer of 2020, when the Black Lives Matter, protests were out there, they had the military, they had the police, they were ready to, you know, hurt people to protect the building. But they didn’t do that same thing for when they knew that 1000s of white folks were coming to protests, and these folks showed up with weapons, you know, they were violent. And they didn’t get the same treatment. So that wasn’t equity at all. Right. But one side gets to label themselves as patriotic. And the other side, even if we labeled ourselves as patriotic, the media isn’t going to portray us that way, and isn’t going to call us that.
Shannon M. 19:03
Absolutely. And another part of what you do and how you approach situations and conversations like this with the removing of blame, guilt and shame. Can we talk about that a little bit and how you hold both? I think like you said, it definitely limits learning if we are always comparing or again, not in our body. So can you tell us more about that? Yeah, sure.
Sacil Armstrong 19:25
Yeah. My, my motto when I’m teaching is no blame, no shame, no guilt. And I came to that over a few years because I have been a grassroots activist for a long time. I have talked about poverty and equity and racism and oppression for years.
And what I’ve found in the beginning, is I’m doing all of this teaching, I’m teaching about the facts. I’m teaching about things that we can do, and everybody’s in my classes going, that’s awesome. This is great. And then they leave, and I’m not seeing any change. So I’m like, y’all say this was awesome. How come you’re not doing anything? And the black folks that I talked to was like, I everything you told me was eye opening, and I’m already exhausted, and I just don’t have the emotional capacity to do this.
And the white folks were like, everything you told me was amazing. And now I feel so guilty, and I feel ashamed. And I don’t want to put myself out there. So, you know, went back to the drawing board and was like, Okay, I’m glad that people know, you know, that’s like the second pillar, they know your facts. But how do I get them to pillar number three, undo the work.
And what I found out was that when I started having people to get in their bodies, and I started out with just breathing, and then I started with some movement, and then I started, you know, dancing, when I came in to get people into a good mood before we even started talking about anything bad. And what I was finding was that, the more I get people in their body, and relaxed, and when I say out loud, no blame, no shame, no guilt, then people are like, oh, and they’re ready to learn. It just they’re, they let their defenses down. And they’re more open to hearing. A lot of times when I start, after I dance my way in and get people to dance and sing with me. And I say the motto for the class is no blame, no shame, no guilt, people cry. And they were like, I was afraid to come, but I knew I needed to learn. And they start crying. And they’re like, Thank you for saying that. Now I feel like I can breathe. And now I can listen. And since I’ve been doing that, the people who come through my workshops, they leave changed, and they leave ready to take action, and they leave ready to do something different. And they actually call me up and or email me and say, This is what I’ve done since I left your class, you know,
Christine Gautreaux 21:30
so can I add, because I have been in one of your classes, and I’m a member of your community, just full transparency for, for our audience, I will also say they leave with joy and connection, yes, because I have found that in the work, you know, when you before you start this work before you start on this path, often, like give stories, or I’m just gonna speak for myself, like, you know, I was taught that, you know, you don’t want to be seen, or it can be dangerous, or it can be this or that. And what I really found in, in the work of activism is joy and unity is that it is a place where religious relationships are built, it is a place where you don’t have to do it by your by yourself.
And the other thing I know for me personally, is often when crazy stuff is going on in the world, when you are seeing these acts of violence and racism and, you know, these mass shootings that are directed at black and brown bodies, that when I feel helpless, and when I am in community when I’m doing things like being a part of the inspired by in the NGO community, and I’m doing activism and I’m, I don’t I feel hopeful instead of helpless. Because I can’t do it by myself, none of us can like this is too big for one body to hold. And if we all take incremental steps and affect change, then we can shift our culture. That’s true.
Shannon M. 23:00
So, absolutely for that, right. And I wanted to make sure that I pause and didn’t just go to the next to the next question. So still, as an administrator of classes, and with your experience, what do you do to take care of yourself as you hold space for other people who were working on letting?
Sacil Armstrong 23:27
Go Well, I do my best to take my own advice. And Christine knows this because she calls me out when I don’t. I do my best to take my own advice. I focus on my breathing several times throughout the day. First thing I do when I get up is getting my body, you know, first thing I do before I get out of bed, I pause and I see where I am. And I take a deep breath from my belly and I make sure that I’m in my body before I ever even get out of bed. And I do that throughout the day. Because I will catch myself if I’m watching the news. Or if I’m really focused on my work, I will catch myself holding my breath. And when I’m holding my breath, then that means the energy is not flowing. And so I focus on being in my body. I go outside every day and put my feet in the grass. You know, that’s one of the first things we talked about. And so I make sure I put my feet in the grass every day to get grounded. And being grounded is like the most important thing for me returning back to center because I can get knocked all over the place. But if I can bring myself back to center, then I know that I’m okay and if things get wobbly, if I can get back to center then I know I can get back to my focus and stay on track. Another thing that I do is push my water. I drink plenty of water. And then a third thing that I do is I try very hard. I’m not always successful with this but I try very hard to manage my energy and manage my time by limiting how many things are on my to do list for any one day. I think both of y’all have problem they heard me say that I, I don’t put more than three meetings on my schedule. If I have more than three meetings in a day, I know that I feel overwhelmed. And so if I, if I don’t get on Zoom or three times a day, so so that there’s that, and then my task list, I try not to have more than three things on my list for in any one day. Now I have a big to do list that’s like my, my big calendar with I have all these things to do. But for today, I will have no more than three meanings and no more than three things on my to do. Because otherwise, I feel overwhelmed, and I get distracted, and I can’t focus.
Christine Gautreaux 25:37
And can I just say, as somebody who’s a collaborator with you, this method works that you get more done that like it is I watch you just kick butt like I am like, wow. Like your systems and organizations that you have in place, just inspire me, my friend. And I want to tell our listeners, if you Sacil was on Back Episode 20, back in May of 2021, and talked about physical wellness. So you should we’ll put a link in the show notes to that episode. So if you want to hear more in depth about some of those practices, we talked on the show about that. But it made me think about that when you were talking about walking in the grass and stuff. Like I remember that conversation and it was a good one. So I want to link that for our listeners.
Sacil Armstrong 26:31
Thank you. So what do you guys do? I know Shannon, after that episode, you talked about how you were going to put your feet in the grass more often. Have you been sticking to that?
Shannon M. 26:45
Absolutely been putting my feet in the grass speaking to the trees, and I’m currently in a search for a good Hill Road down. So if anybody knows of a nice grassy hill with a nice ending, me and my partner are looking for it. So yes, it’s been great
Christine Gautreaux 27:03
specificity that you need a good ending on.
Shannon M. 27:06
Yeah, no, no, no sidewalks.
Christine Gautreaux 27:10
Really good. Really slow, gentle, really nice. I love that.
Sacil Armstrong 27:20
I love that you’re speaking to the trees.
Shannon M. 27:22
Yes, yes. And just we’ve had you know, a list of people on for environmental wellness, talking about Mother Earth and just thanking her for the elements and enjoying it more and more spading taking walks, you know. So I’ve really been taking it all in. And since I started at Top Golf in July and was there through this past March. I love looking at the green of the golf field. You know, I might be at work, but I was still half outside. And it really made me appreciate looking at the color green. And thankfully Atlanta is known as the city and the trees you know, so I’ve been enjoying myself off. What about you, Christine, have you been putting your feet in the grass? I know you have your LeBron.
Christine Gautreaux 28:04
Yeah, I like to start my day by going outside and saying hello to the sun, putting my feet in the grass. And if you notice today’s shooting because you were at my house like my flowers are showing out this year. So the other thing that I like to do, I like to channel my grandmother. So I’m going to call her name. Her name is Lila Ruth Nichols. She is not on this plane anymore. But she used to love to take people around her yard and tell about her flowers and where they came from. So I did a little bit of that when Shannon came to the house this morning. I was showing her my friendship garden. And I didn’t I didn’t I spared her the who gave me what everything. I think
Shannon M. 28:42
I’ve heard it before
Christine Gautreaux 28:47
when I’m doing that, but it makes me smile because it just brings me such joy to flower share. And then when they bloom, and then you get to like name oh, this came from my friend, Shelley. This came from my friend Cheryl. Like, it just it’s a joy to me. And it also when I think about social wellness. Environmental wellness, when I think about indigenous methods like Right, like how do we support each other? Right? One of the ways I support people is with food and flowers. Like I think we’ve talked about that in financial wellness before that that’s one of the things that we were allowed to spend money on because my dad was a farmer. And so I can share you know, I’ve got this abundance and wealth of flowers that are multiplying and need to be thinned down honestly. So like I share them with other people. And whether it’s herbs or whether it’s the pumpkins because I got a patch of pumpkins this year, you know, and they need room to grow. So putting them up and sharing them with different people is part of my social and environmental wellness.
Shannon M. 29:57
I’ve really liked that though. And I think about that with social oneness, right? What am I able to give? Especially through COVID? Like, I’ve been very intentional about my support system, right? And they’ve been here differently than they were before. COVID Not everybody’s as available. You know, my best friend is pregnant. We just had somebody in our women connect in our manifestation Monday’s who had, are we saying? That? Yes, a baby girl today Happy Birthday
Christine Gautreaux 30:26
member of the women connected in wisdom community.
Shannon M. 30:32
So it looks different, you know. And so I love being intentional about knowing what you can give. And if that’s three things on the list today, then guess what, four is going on tomorrow. And that’s going to have to be okay. And I have been more intentional about that, too. So the other day, I said, You know what, I’m gonna go home and organize my transactions in my bank account. And I was just procrastinating. I just felt this huge weigh in. It’s like, ooh, but I need to do it. And I said, You know what, sometimes what I do is just plan it, instead of actually doing it. If it doesn’t feel like it sits in today, write it down, it’ll get done and then go rest or do something that’s smaller that will is more of a priority. Maybe you know that you need to finish that’ll get you to the next thing. But knowing what you can give is really helped me set boundaries and not overpay for for my cup as things have been shifting.
Sacil Armstrong 31:22
Yeah. And the other thing about what you just said is about listening, listening to the universe. So sometimes you have plans, and then the universe is not today. I’ll tell you I had planned yesterday that I was, I don’t know if people know, but I’m moving. But I had planned yesterday that I was going to pack and I went to go get boxes from someplace I was supposed to save them. And they didn’t save the boxes. And so I was like, Well, I guess I’m not packing today. And I had another big project for the week. And I was like, Oh, I’m gonna work on this project. And so I got started, and I got partway through. And I wanted to finish the whole thing. But I knew I was feeling tired. But I wasn’t going to stop when the internet went out. So I couldn’t finish it. And the messages I kept getting was you need to go rest. And I was like, No, I know I need to rest. But I’ll do it after this. And when I sat down, I sat down to figure out what I was going to do next. And I woke up 45 minutes later. Right. Yeah,
Christine Gautreaux 32:21
I love that about your internet going out. So frustrating when that happens. But it is it is one of those things like I mean, y’all know, when I was recovering from COVID, like my computer crashed during that time. Like it was like, No, you’re not even doing this, like you’re sitting down, you are resting. And you are we’re gonna make this to where you you get this break. Right. And I think sometimes our system well, I know most of the time our society teaches us to push through, and to keep going and to do this. And, you know, that’s one of the things that we want to shift culture about with women connection and wisdom is that take that time to breathe, take that time to listen and read, like take that nap. If you I mean Sacil and I yesterday had a meeting scheduled and we got on. I’m gonna tell a story on us. Is that okay, so so that’s okay. And because we have an upcoming collaboration project, with foster and adoptive kids that has been launched this summer, and we got on to do one of our work sessions, and neither of us were functioning well, like we were and we were like, Okay, what do we want to do? Like, we were just, you know, when things just sometimes don’t work, right? Works out. And usually we get on and we are like, like, we are just flying, we’re going and it just and we took it, we stopped. We took a deep breath. And we asked ourselves, what do we need? And I was like, I need a nap. I woke up before 5am And I’m not functioning. You’re creating content or curriculum, or like, you know, it’s one of those things that you want to be sharp and clear it. Well, I was, I was on the opposite end of that.
Sacil Armstrong 34:08
Yeah. And I said, I need to rest. I know, I need to rest and then we got off. And I was like, I’m gonna try this one more time. And that’s
Christine Gautreaux 34:18
alright, we’re connecting all the dots now. Perfect. So you had a good 45 minute nap. I think that’s about what mine was, too. Yeah. And we were holding friend for our space who was in the holding space for our friends who was in labor. That nap was probably what we all needed to do to give her the energy of her. Right leaning. Yeah.
Shannon M. 34:41
And so so I don’t know if I told you this. But Christine was sick, right? She was just talking about recovering. And when I had talked because I read your chapter and I called you I said, Hey, what is a peasant skirt? We’re laughing. Talking about your chapter. I’m having a ball talking about unreleased books and unreleased chapters where I call them the authors. Just you Thinking about the history of that. And we were talking about Christine not feeling well, and how we were holding space. And you had given me a time in the conversation that you had told her right, like a set amount of days. So I reached out to Christine, and we’re talking, and she’s like, Yeah, I think I’m gonna take the weekend, I said, Dr. Sacil said seven days. And she’s like, between the two of you, I’m not gonna get anything,
Christine Gautreaux 35:22
right there is social wellness, accountability. When you have a community that holds you accountable in love, like that was totally, I was trying to squeak by in the least amount of time, but my community was like not having it. They’re like, right, exactly what I need, right, yeah. But I think that’s what we talk, like, that’s what’s so valuable about women connected and wisdom is that we don’t have to do this virus house, right, and that we have people that can hold space for us, and that can be connected, and to support our wellness, because it’s hard. Sometimes y’all like, it’s hard to stop and rest, and give ourselves permission when society’s not given us permission, right. And there’s so much to do, just to be honest, there’s a lot of work to do in this world.
Sacil Armstrong 36:15
And when you don’t have when you don’t have a community, when you don’t have a social group to hold you accountable, and to tell you that things can be different, it can get so skewed in your own head. Because I’ve been I’ve been with the manifesting Mondays group, and the women connected with some group for just over a year now. And the year before, I was doing everything by myself. And I remember the first few meetings that I had with y’all, I was so ready to blame myself. Well, I was I was blaming myself for things that didn’t go right and things that didn’t get done. And then you guys were like, but look, look at this part that happened. And this was amazing. And look at this. And I was like ignoring all the things that I had done well, and just focusing on where I had messed up or where I thought I had messed up. But it took y’all telling me, you know, you got to give yourself credit. And I’m sitting here holding space for other people and not holding it from myself. But now that I’m, you know, in this group, I’m getting better about holding space for myself, and you know, recognizing my own wins. So that wouldn’t happen if I was still doing it all by myself.
Christine Gautreaux 37:18
I love that. I love that. Because I think about how much amazing work you have in this world. How much your work affects people’s lives on all different levels. It has been and has been for years. And I think it’s very human. And I think it’s very, I think it’s a very common thing in our culture that we don’t, we don’t recognize, we look for the things that we look for the things that, you know, we still have left to like, even today, when we got out a car. She said, Oh, your yard is beautiful. And I said I’m trying to look at just the blooms and not the weeds that maybe that’s the truth of our lives, right? There’s things that are blooming brilliantly, and there’s weeds, there’s gonna be like, be there balance, and some of it aren’t weeds. They’re just you know, society tells us they’re weeds, right? Yeah, this is a mom and our friend, Delilah. And she says, ladies, it is hard to stop and rest. Sometimes it’s hard to start. Well, and that’s the other thing about social wellness and community, right, is that one of the things we do every week in manifesting Mondays is we tell each other what we’re planning on starting that week. On our break, big dreams and goals are in the next week. Check back in with each and every one of us on this call. There’s been a time that we’re like.
Shannon M. 38:52
No, and it was crazy, because I didn’t even think about it like that before. You know if I was planning on going to the dentist, maybe I just ended up not going to the dentist but this time with the manifestation Monday’s group. Christine was like, Well, what happened, Mike, how did you leave and had a very short drive to the dentist and never ended up there. What happened the last time you went to the day? I said, Oh, I did get two wisdom teeth removed and went straight to work as a kitchen manager. So I’m running the whole restaurant and brought no medicine with me. That’s what happened last time. I said it makes sense. Maybe my
Christine Gautreaux 39:26
last time because you got to come in your body. So the next time you don’t want to schedule that appointment, right? Your body is remembering. Danger. Danger. Yeah.
Shannon M. 39:36
Yeah. And because you said that now it’s okay. I sit down to do the transactions for the bank. And I know enough now to notice what’s going on. Maybe I don’t need to do this right now. What would happen if I don’t do it? Nothing. Maybe I’ll put it off to you know, to another day to the day that’s allocated to financial transactions and that’ll feel better and I could do something else. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that for me too. community, like you said, it’s as simple as showing that mirror to yourself, you know, sometimes we can get caught up, especially as caregivers, and the things that still need to get done are the things that we still want to work on. But Christine, like the blooms in the weeds is kind of the same metaphors, the grief and gratitude, you know, there’s things that you want to fix and the things that are working well. And what I realized a few years ago is that there might be so much going on, I feel like in my life, there’s always crazy stuff. I’ve been saying I should write a book for a long time. So I’m grateful for you, ladies to be in this book with me. But it’s interesting, because we can focus on all the things that we would say no to if we could choose if they would happen or not. But at the same time, there was all these things that I had been waiting for, you know, as a young adult, I wanted my own apartment, I wanted a good paying job. I wanted a car that was mine. And I didn’t have to, you know, worry about transportation. And then I had all those things, while at the same time I was working through other things, you know. So realizing that I’ve been waiting years to be in the position on that, even though there might be parts of the picture that I didn’t know to paint in, you know, the picture that I was looking for is still there. Hmm.
Christine Gautreaux 41:10
Can we pause for some affirmation and celebration around financial wellness? Is there anything you want to share this week? Shannon?
Shannon M. 41:18
Are you talking about these bank accounts? Are you talking about the car?
Christine Gautreaux 41:21
Yeah.
Shannon M. 41:26
Yes. So yes, I have paid off my car as of last month. So celebrated the birthday last month, started the second business last month, and I paid off my car. So May was a great. Yes. Thank you. Well,
Christine Gautreaux 41:43
it just pausing to celebrate, right, because I think that’s the other thing. You know, CCO you talk about as your fourth pillar in inspired by Indigo West and celebrate, like, it would be easy just to blow past that chanting, go to the next bill and go to the next. Oh, but that’s a big milestone in life, right? Yes. Yes.
Shannon M. 42:04
It’s like, Thank you. Let’s celebrate relations. Yes. Thank you so much. Oh. And I love the rest part, too, you know, in between a position or a season of life to be able to rest a second before you just run to the next thing I think is, is huge.
Christine Gautreaux 42:25
Which is a good spot to say to our listeners that we are taking next week off. We are taking a summer break in honor of my birthday next year celebration. Yes. It’s a rest and celebrate. Yes, yes.
Shannon M. 42:39
We should do that we need to rest and celebrate graphic.
Christine Gautreaux 42:42
That will be happening between now and next week for sure. Rest and celebrate. Yeah, because we realized, I mean, we were scheduled. We were gonna go live next week. And then we’re like, wait a second, we teach about the eight dimensions of wellness. It’s okay, if we take a break. It’s okay.
Sacil Armstrong 43:03
To break laying what you write each
Christine Gautreaux 43:08
part of the problem is we love the show so much. And we love connecting with each other every week and guests like you are awesome. It’s hard to say no, no, we’re not going to do that. Right. Right. But I think it’s a good point to bring up too much of a good thing, whether it’s good or bad. Like it’s easy to have. It’s a to me, sometimes it’s easier to have boundaries, and to have wellness around things that I’m not a big fan of right. Like, okay, yeah, I boundary about that, or Oh, yeah, but it’s the good stuff, right? Like, hey, love, I love this. I love doing this. I love all my collaborative, where are the boundaries in that? Right? And I think that I will when I think about that, when I think about social wellness, right? When we all went through the pandemic for two years, we had some serious boundaries that that had never showed up before, right. And now as the world is opening back up, even though more people I know have COVID than ever. How do we have those boundaries and get back out there and nurture ourselves and each other and community and have community care around? Because a question a lot of people are asking themselves.
Shannon M. 44:23
Yeah. And I would think about what do you what do you want it to look like, you know, in a perfect world, if you get if we’re setting it back up again, what does that look like? Yeah,
Sacil Armstrong 44:36
yeah, I’m a big fan of picturing what it is that you want, instead of just trying to go back to what was already there, because that’s what you’re used to. Because what was our norm before was not working for everybody? You know, do we want it to look like Yeah, right.
Shannon M. 44:49
And it’ll never look like that before. So going back is not a thing. You know, I’m like, in most situations when we ever say that, you might, I don’t I don’t think there is a goal. back, you know, you might return to a certain, let’s say, level of communication with somebody. But if something happened between Scylla and our relationship, this is going to be different. Now we’re in a new place. And you know, it might look similar. But that makes
Sacil Armstrong 45:13
me think of all of the employers that are trying to get people to come back to the office right now, you know, and we now know that people can work from home and be productive, sometimes more productive, but the people who are in power are wanting things to go back to the way they were, and employees are not having it.
Christine Gautreaux 45:32
Did y’all see the TEDx talk? I’ll link it for our show in the show notes. But there is definite evidence that a four day workweek is healthy and more productive, like they’re doing it in European countries in several European countries. But I was watching this TED talk recently about why we should be looking at that model, whether it’s virtual or in person, I’ll link it for y’all. Because I think this is a good thing to talk about as far as culture like. So you know, the virtual and the remote works for a lot of people. And for some people, it didn’t. But yeah, what works for different bodies? Right? Yeah, I love
Sacil Armstrong 46:15
people giving the people who are doing the work, the option and the input instead of just looking at the people in charge, because I’ve worked in places where I know I could do the work from home, I’ve worked places where, you know, my, I had had chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia. And it was really hard for me to get to work. And it was really hard for me to sit at a desk for eight hours. And even though I could work from home, because I’m mostly writing and didn’t interact with a lot of people, my supervisor wanted me there so that when she walked past, she could see me in the office. And it wasn’t about me being productive and getting the job done. It was about her micromanaging, you know, and so I think a lot of people are in that space where they don’t feel comfortable with change. They don’t believe that people are working, even though you can see the product of their work. I just want to see my people. You know, it’s not about the work. It’s about my discomfort with not having full control.
Christine Gautreaux 47:05
I also am curious, I would be curious about a social study around, is it their discomfort and control? Are they missing the social interactions? And the social wellness at work? I mean, I bet they’re somewhat a little bit about
Shannon M. 47:21
the motivation. Yeah, right. Yeah, I
Christine Gautreaux 47:24
just think about because I know some people who were so excited to go back to work because at home and the remote, they didn’t have the social networks or the social wellness, that their work was their social wellness. It wasn’t imbalance with external relationships outside of work, y’all this is we could just keep talking all night about this. I feel like it is just more shall be revealed as we come out of this year. So and it’s about time for our wisdom in action.
Shannon M. 47:55
That is, it is I’ll go first I think I just thought of mine. I’m gonna say for social wellness. Hashtag support your system, because we’re working on the business systems, but also because it’s been a lot of celebration, celebrating my little brother’s birthday, we’re celebrating multiple new lives.
Christine Gautreaux 48:14
And now real quick. Today, what’s your start? Yes.
Sacil Armstrong 48:18
Seven pack? Say?
Shannon M. 48:23
Yes. Ah, so we went to Fellini’s and had some good pizza but yeah, just making sure I balanced it, you know, balanced the work and how I want to show up in in my social network and make sure that I’m pouring out to them just like they pour it to me. What about use this hill, what’s your wisdom and action,
Sacil Armstrong 48:41
my wisdom and action is going to be about balance. I mean, I told y’all how several times a day, I check on my breathing and I ground or I go outside to put my feet in the grass and I think I think my wisdom and action is going to be about focusing on balance. Because I know with everything that’s going on with me lately, I’ve been really pushing myself to get things done and not doing so much creative and resting and relaxation. So my wisdom and action is going to be to bring balance to you know, this transition.
Shannon M. 49:14
Yes, yes, I
Christine Gautreaux 49:15
love that.
Shannon M. 49:17
What about you Christie
Christine Gautreaux 49:18
for my wisdom in action around social wellness I think it’s going to be hashtag be present. And like really kind of listen in and check in on some friends that I haven’t checked in a while like to really be present with like the definition said, you know, am I nurturing myself? Am I nurturing others in my community, but I think that takes a presence to be able to do that and have good boundaries. So that’s what I’m gonna go for. So, Sacil, before we put you back in the green room with the imaginary tea and she onglet Do you have any upcoming events that you want to share with folks?
Sacil Armstrong 50:06
I sure do.
Christine Gautreaux 50:07
Tell us what’s happening. All right. So
Sacil Armstrong 50:10
tomorrow at 2pm Eastern time, I am running a free webinar called everybody versus racism. And it’s going to be an hour of us talking about how white supremacy and racism were designed to be invisible. They were created so that white people wouldn’t see them. And so that’s why so many white people just don’t get it. And they’re like, I don’t see this, this isn’t a problem. For me, I don’t understand why people are, are what are up in arms about? Well, we’re going to talk about how they were created to be invisible, so that white folks would have that reaction. And then we’re going to talk about some ways that you can build equity into your everyday life and make it a habit. So the equity isn’t some pie in the sky ideal, or some core value that you talk about over here. It’s an actual thing that you do. So
Christine Gautreaux 50:59
yay, yay, yay, yay, we will put that in the show notes. We will also give a shout out on social media since that’s tomorrow, and I’m hoping you’re going to offer it more than once.
Sacil Armstrong 51:12
I am I am going to offer more than once. I’m looking at dates in July and August for doing this again.
Christine Gautreaux 51:18
Wow. Yeah. Thank you so much for the work you do in the world and a part of the women connected in wisdom community and our lives and we just my world is better because you’re in it.
Sacil Armstrong 51:33
Mine. Thank you. I was so glad to be invited. I’m glad it was it. Paul that put us together. Right Paul’s are over there, wherever your call for saying that we needed to meet.
Christine Gautreaux 51:44
And look what has happened a year later. You got a book coming out together. We got some collaborations on multiple fronts happening like, this is what happened. Happens when women Connect. Right? Absolutely. Yeah. All right, my friends, senior schoon thank you so much for being here. Such good staff? Oh, yes, sir. Yes.
Shannon M. 52:10
And I’m so grateful to, to know how to deal with things. You know, I was thinking about little Shannon. And I think what she needed was some shallow glow, and some habits to take care of herself physically. And books like we were about to write, you know, like, what are women’s stories? And how do they do all this stuff, like I need to be set up. I was definitely reading chicken noodle soup. And I definitely, clearly my book is our favorite, but I think little Shannon would have liked it too. So I’m having a great time.
Christine Gautreaux 52:41
I love that my friend. Well, I am so grateful to be in community with you and to be connected that we get to do this work together and we get to uplift women’s voices and introduce them all across our platforms so fast. Get to know some amazing people.
Shannon M. 53:01
Yeah, me too. Me too. Okay, guys, thank you so much for joining us for episode 72. And don’t forget, be well
Christine Gautreaux 53:09
be wise and be whole we’ll see you soon.
Satimara 53:20
Thanks for listening. This has been the women connected and wisdom podcast on air live on Wednesdays at 5 pm. Eastern via Facebook and YouTube. Be sure to like share and subscribe be part of the conversation and get connected at women connected in wisdom.com.
